am i the hero or the villain.. is it a history or fiction...

they tell us we're flying too high.. they'll have to get used too looking up..

2009-02-22T14:28:00.003-05:00

okay... let me see if i can manage to get all this out.. coherently.. lol.. i'm still pretty high from yesterday, ngl.

we were getting up at 8:30 am yesterday so that we could get ready and leave. i woke up at 5:30. i just couldn't sleep anymore. lol. so i got up and puttered around, grabbed some breakfast and actually managed to decide on an outfit without having an aneurysm. lol.

we left shortly before 9. stopped at walmart for food and we were off, blasting david's album all the way there and singing at the top of our lungs. \o/

got to valpo university easily enuf bc we don't live all that far away and all of use knew where it was. then we drove around on the campus (that we didn't realise was quite that big) trying to find the harre union building. we actually managed to find it (of course in the very last bit of campus we hadn't driven thru) so yay us. that was around 11. got inside and there was already a decent line. attempted to not hyperventilate or squeal really loudly over the fact that i was actually in the line! thankfully the people who go to see dave are not psycho like the people that go to see some stuff, so there was no crushing in the line etc. which was nice. they didn't even growl when one of us left to go to the bathroom and got back in line with our friends. i actually recognised renaberena when she walked past me so i said hi and introduced myself. we were keeping an eye out if anybody was looking for tickets since we had 2 extra but nobody ever came around where we were. poo. also i totally did squeal when i noticed that the tickets said 'sold out'. you go bb! i love that. there was this batch of 13yo in front of us from like a bday party and we soo wanted to kill them. they were taking up way too much space with all their bags and crap, dancing around and being soooo annoying. i think they were the only bad part about the line tho.. so i guess that's not that bad. turned out tho that since it was 'sibling weekend' there was a group of students siblings that actually got to go in before all of us that had been waiting in line, which was so much bullshit. but what can you do. surprisingly there was no riot when they went in first and the crowd actually did adhere to their little string lines as we were herded in slowly.

that room was so small! i was like omgomgomg we're going to be sooo close! *superflailyface* it was like one of those little conference rooms at a holiday inn. no lie. and we ended up not being very far from the stage (not like you could really be all that far tho) and we had a great view. unfortunately there was one really tall guy in an orange shirt that was totally like head all in the way, but he ended up being right between dave and neal's mic stand so we could still see pretty well. altho the little blonde girl next to me was totally talking about beaming her cell at his head. lol. (i told her i approved this plan. XDD) i was really kind of losing it way before anybody came out over the fact that the room was so small. i saw mcr at the house of blue in chicago and thought that was kind of small (awesome!) but this was reaaaaallly small. <3_<3

so i had heard nothing but good things from everybody about ryan star (the opener) so i was pretty stoked to hear him. i'd actually been following him on twitter for a couple weeks already. but when he came out and just started singing he completely blew me and the besties away. no lie. his voice is just amazing and the raw passion and energy is like woah. i was in love with his musik before he finished the first song. totally. there is just something so... his voice is like broken glass in your soul.. but in the most beautifull way. you can just feel every raw edge, every nerve, every emotion in the words and the musik. and he's just all over the stage throwing himself into the musik and daring you to not love him. it's awesome bc i heard a couple people around us bitching that there was an opening act but by the time he was done the whole crowd was loving him. you go ryan! i know i was there to see dave but i really didn't want ryan to stop singing. there was just so much power in his voice and it doesn't sound like anything that's on the radio right now. his voice is almost like david bowie + neil diamond + billy joel (when you listen to 'songs from the eye of the elephant, which we did on the way home, you can really hear that more with him and just the piano). the last song he did was called 'back of your car' and holy christ it was just... woah. it was the sex. no lie. by the time he finished i wanted to fuck like everything in the room. lol. (more on ryan later)

unfortunately between him and dave fearnottheflame got sick from the water they passed out being way too cold on her stomach with not quite enuf food in it and she had to leave. she ended up getting sick, so it's a good thing she did leave then, but it really sucked having to watch without her. apparently she watched from by the doors and some cougars let her get closer in. i guess she had a pretty good view and a fab view of neallll. so yay for that.

of course after he went off the stage there was dave fucking cook and the bouh. *dies* they came out to this old as song 'if you leave me now' which made me lolol like forever. they were really sooo close i could not even breathe. have to say that they all look even better than they do in their pictures. ~hardon. really tho they looked amazing. dave's skin really is that fucking perfect. and his smile is even more heart-exploding in real life. and his laugh... oh my heart. i cannot even. nealll is really that bamf but he looks way smaller in person and how much do i love that his hair is getting all long and shaggy. andyyy is even hotter live and actually bigger than he looks in pics. all of them were just.. wow. and listening to them live right there in front of me singing and playing their hearts out was nothing short of a religious experience for me. not even kidding. i was like one of those cartoon characters with hearts in their eyes and sparkles all around their head the whole time.

set list: heroes, mr. sensitive, lotm, delaration, kotn, breathe tonight, hunger strike, LO, barbasol

heroes is soo much more epic hearing it live. i loved it anyway but wow. there is just sooo much energy and power behind him when he sings.. and you can really feel it.

mr. sensitive has this realy sexy edge when he does it. you can kind of hear it on the album but not enuf to prepare you for it live. and he really.. i cannot even. how can one minute you're smiling and being the cutest thing ever like 'oh how cool is it that people came to see me' and the next minute he's all rock god sexness 'i fucking own this room'?!?! how does he do that?! idek but ooohhh he does!

life on the moon.. this song.. live.. omg. you can really feel what he means about it being about the last year and all the madness and confusion and there's one line where he turned and looked at neal just like holy. fuck.

declaration. love. it's so much more powerfull than you think it is when you hear it live. just.. amazing. you really can feel the energy of it being his real declaration about what he wants and his dream and just...

kiss oon the neck. *dies* yes please. holy god. hottt like woah. and listening to him sing it knowing that he wrote it with neal and.. and.. at one point when he says 'just a kiss on the neck' he touches his neck and why did that make me die? but ohhhh it did. i swear i spent soo much time squealing and screaming at this show. :o

breathe tonight. yay! fearnottheflame had been hoping for this one so i was totally happy when they played it for her. i mean i love the song obv. and god he just has soo much gravel in his voice and soo much sex when he sings. jezus.

hunger strike. thank you god i was praying for this soo hard. ANDYYYYYYYYY. my life. guh. hearing andy sing live was just.. i mean obv i wanted to hear dave but i knew dave was doing every song so i was praying for them to do hunger strike so i could really hear andy and <333333 so. much. happyface.

light on was awesome. i know some people don't really like it but i love it. and when he has the crowd sing for him.. his face... so much love.

then... encore.. bar.ba.sol. *ded* kyle on the drums with this light thingies is soooo cool and i could feel every beat thru the floor. (i've been really wanting to play drums for a while now actually but this just made the want so much worse) fuck me. barbasol. that man is like fucking the whole audience thru the microphone. no. lie. so much raw passion in that song.

this was the most amazing show. (i confess still second to mcr doing the black parade, but you would have to understand what that concert and that album meant to me and the besties) it was incredible. i can't even fully express what it felt like to be there in the room with this man who i've been loving and following and dreaming for for so long and then he's really there. and he's really just as fantastik as i think he is.. i just.. it was amazing. and it was a high that i could not be brought down from yesterday and all last night.. (and my frenz are too much awesomesauce for making that happen for me!!! <333)

now unfortunately we didn't get to meet the guys bc we got run off from outside so we went for foodz bc we were fucking starving (and starbucks of course). so ~sadface over that. i heard via twitter that some people did end up meeting them and not even gonna pretend that i don't hate you. D=<

but ryan was out in the hallway right after the show and we found fearnottheflame
so yayz! and she was okay again. yayz! we bought his album and had the band and ryan sign it for us. the band was not gettiing enuf luv. wtf people? they were really great and soo totaly friendly! they climbed across the table to take pics with people and were so chatty, especially artie. he was all 'yeah join the mailing list and the next time we come around come and see us. we'll hang out and get some pizza.' lol. you're great artie but be careful. we're the kinda girls that will show up with pizza. XDD finally got to ryan (no easy feat!) and he signed out cd 'To The OT3' which is made of so. much. awesome. and he was soo nice and really friendly and i told him i was going to blog about him and he's all 'well i get google alerts so i will see your blog' and i'm all omg srsly? *dies* (so if you're reading this ryan THE OT3 LOVESSS YOU!!!) we took a picture with him and he totally group hugged us. then he chatted with us some more and then was shaking the besties hands but i had moved out of the way of someone else and totally looked around for me to give me a high five! <33

the band:

me and fearnottheflame with the band

fearnottheflame , me, ryan star and talalkhemiyst *squee*

we listened all the way back home and it was just like we were lost in it. it's just him and the piano for basically the whole thing and it's very raw. there's really no production on it. he recorded it in his living room according to the jacket and it's just the most raw, emotional versions of the songs. it's so amazing and powerful. the words just grab you and he just grabs you with his voice and does not let you go for the whole album. he said he's got a new one coming out in like may and i cannot wait for that. i will definitely be watching for him to come back around this way. definitely. (and oh yes artie we will be hanging out for pizza!)

when we got back home we decided to go shopping! lol. (yeah, such girls are we!) and found some really cute stuff. i've been fighting with my closet for months bc there have been a lot of changes in my life and in myself and so many of the really cute things i've got i just don't wear anymore. my style has been so lost. i wear jeans and tshirts all the time and then give myself shit for not really 'getting dressed' and just wearing what's comfy. now we're at fashion bug and i can't find a thing that i like. i'm helping the besties pick stuff out for them but can't find a thing for myself and then talalkhemiyst comes up with this really cute hoodie. that just shook something loose i think. i started picking out a couple more hoodies and a handful of really cute shirts that i would not normally pick out at all. when i got to trying stuff on i was dying. the shirts i got made me totally look like a 15yo boy. but i totally loved them! they were just awesome and i was so comfortable in them and love loved the way they looked on me! so all this time i've been eating myself up about wearing the jeans and the tshirts all the time.. turns out that's actually my style now. go figure. who knew that the year i turned 30 i would be getting a makeover as a teenage boy. lol. i love it. (besties also look waaaaay too cute in what they got. fearnottheflame has this naughty secretary thing going and it's very hot. is totally going loligoth and also very hot. we've all lost so much weight that like half of us is gone. lol. and shopping and going out is sooo much more fun now!)

then we went home and watched cartoons all night. lolol.

all in all.. it was a really awesome day. really awesome. :DDDDD

am i a part of the cure or am i part of the disease

2009-02-11T08:49:00.000-05:00

okay soooo.. i suppose that i should mention where i stand on american idol, just to get it out there.. i know we're not even at top 36 yet, but i still have favourites already.. it's crazy for me bc this is the first season where i'm getting the 'full idol experience' bc i've never watched starting from auditions onward. woah. this shizz is like nutcakes for real. lol..

first off (and not in any particular order other than how they're listed on the ai site bc i can't remember all their fucking names lol) is a-lamb. ♥ i will confess i wanted to hate him bc everybody was going on about dcook comparisons and we all know how i feel about dcook but adam was just so.. i love his voice. i love his look (and yes, he ttly reminds me of dcook stfu okay). but i will say that i hate the faces he makes while he's singing. lol.

i also ttly dig anoop dawg. every time this guy sings he kills me! wtf is up with an indian looking guy who sings like boys ii men or wtfever. i mean srsly?! he's great tho.

brent keith i really like, altho i've read that he was on nashville star and did really well so i'm a little iffy as to why he's even on ai now.. *twitch*

little ran (cody). i loved him honestly the minute i saw him. i was sooo happy when he could actually sing really well bc i was going to love him anyway, ngl.

rdj (danny) is a-mazing. not even playing here. he is probably going to be my fave overall.. his voice is just fantastiik.. and omfg when he did 'i hope you dance' last night... just wow. it was honestly better than the original as far as i'm concerned and i would sever a limb for a recording of his version.. T__T

danny's boyfriend (jamar) is also really great. his 'delilah' didn't exactly do great things for me but i ♥ him. i really like his voice, nvm the fact that him and danny (who are sooo my ship now) are just too. damn. cute. and i fully expect if jamar gets voted off to see him in the audience every week cheering for danny. i will cry if this doesn't happen.

jorje i really like.

kai i also liked so it's a shame he did so badly this week.

cowboy (michael sarver) i just flove. it's the big and cuddly thing. gets me every time.

norman/nick. omfg do i loooooooove him. i'm not even kidding. i flove him soooo hard. he makes my face go all :DDDD every time he comes on but i'm fairly sure bb will not make the top 12. *cuddles* but i'm so going to look for him online. lol. /stalker

ricky braddy i also kinda like but i saw a vid online of him performing someplace and just.. *flails* i could listen to him all day.

von smith i kinda like but bb needs to tone down the theatrics or he's ded. (i actually can't remember now is he still in even??)

scott. ♥_♥ he is my second fave to danny. he is just fantastik. amazing. just.. wow.

i also liked little castro but i'm not really broken up that he left bc idk if i coulda taken a season of ~~ttly smoking the weedz~~ way too relaxed castro 2.0 and david osmond but his fam can buy him a contract or something. lol.

so right now my top 3 are danny, scott, adam in that order.

and yes i realise there are no girls on this list. lol. the only girl that i liked (emily with the pink hair) fucked up and is gone.

and in other news..

one piece is breaking my fucking heart.
we are like a couple episodes into water 7 and holy fuck i have cried soo much already. the merry go can't be repaired?! we have to leave her behind?! *cries* uesopp getting the crap kicked out of him by the franky family. *cries* uesopp waking up to find out merry can't be fixed and the argument with luffy and the FIGHT. omfg. *cries my head off* robin shot iceberg?! no wait she really was there?! and now we're being blamed?! and now she sez 'yes i did it and i'm ttly framing joo' and walks away and chopper and sanji cry *cries*

i don't know how much more epic i can take...

also- i was online last night and i got this user come up on my messenger called 'capablesalmon' and this odd convo insued. well the person on the other end explaind to me that it was from a spambot thing. very odd. we ended up friending each other on our actual messengers but i thought i would alert the flist that this spambot thing is out there floating around confusing the fuck out of ppl randomly. so here is a link to explain it if you have this happen to you.

apparently i'm a loser..

2009-02-08T07:45:00.001-05:00

so apparently i am a loser on multiple levels. go me!

there are things that have been brought to my attention by various sources.. that are apparently like super loser-ish to do.. and (of course) i do them.. who knew..

so it seems i am a loser bc..

1. i wear the merch of the band i'm going to see in concert
(when i saw mcr in concert i bought a tour tshirt and hoodie and then promptly went to the bathroom to put them on right then to show my support for the bois. see, that's the thing. i thought i was supporting and showing my love for them by sporting their merch. besides mcr -and fob btw - wears their own fucking merch all the time. so is it okay for them to rock their own merch but not for me to wear it??)

2. i use the words "rl" or "real life" when referring to actual reality as opposed to bandom or fandom in my journal

3. i use interwebz words in real life
(my faves include: lol. for the win. fail. interwebz. i can haz. oh my fucking god no way. whatthefuck. flails. inorite. and i'm sure there are others. yes. i actually talk like that.)

these things amuse me. okay maybe i'm kind of a loser or at least a total geekface for using interwebz terms in real life but that's just how i talk now. the more annoying part is having to explain them to people who don't speak fandom. lmao.

thoughts? agreement? anybody else do these things?

2009-02-02T21:18:00.001-05:00

once again my besties are made of win bc first mf fall out boy and now..

WE ARE GOING TO SEE DAVE FUCKING COOK AND SKIBBY AND NEAL FUCKING TIEMANN AND JOEY AND KYLE ON THE 21ST IN VALPARAISO!!!!

\o/\o/\O/\o/\o/

i am so like totally stoked off my little obsessive brain right now!!!

i cannot wait for this!!!!!

*runs around squealing and flailing forever*

dressed to kill

2009-02-02T03:19:00.000-05:00

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Put your iPod or other music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the NEXT button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
~~4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from.~~ Everyone can do it. XD

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Up All Night - Hinder (wtf?!)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Whipped - Axium (sounds like fun. lol.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
The Wind Blows - All American Rejects

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Casey - Darren Hayes (o.0)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Wings - Matt Nathanson (one day i'll fly away...)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Love is A Stranger - Eurythmics (yeah.. kinda..)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN?
LA Girl - MWK (oh yes.. i think about these bois all. the. time.)

WHAT IS 2+2?
Bounce - Thousand Foot Krutch

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Goonies 'R' Good Enough - A New Found Glory (Goonies Never Say Die!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
It's All Your Fault - Pink (damn. i have to take responsibility for everything?)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Where Love Went Wrong - Augustana (uh.. no.. that kinda fails. i've had enuf of that. kthx)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Vulnerable - Secondhand Serenade (yeah that.)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Street Corner Symphony - Rob Thomas (yes parents, i will never be "normal" and i will always be the weird one. give it up.)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
New Deep - John Mayer (um.. yeah.. can you say annulment boys and girls?)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Golden Girl - Dan Wilson (um.. apparently ppl will be reeeeaaaallly miserable at my funeral. that's like.. good.. right?)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Fall Back Into Me - DFCook (*dies laughing bc it's waaaaaay too true*)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Brighter - Paramore (oh yeah. ttly a sekrit how awesome i am. >:D)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
~~um.. fuck i don't know the name of this song~~ Chemical Wonder?? - Film

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Suffocate - Cold (yeah.. prolly about right)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Absolute Zero - Jason Mraz (apparently it will be one of those long death scenes where they play back the beautifull moments of your life in epic slow-mo and you cry like forever)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Fallin' Down - Goo Goo Dolls (this is very true.)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
When the Heartache Ends - Rob Thomas (well.. i guess i would be happy about that... )

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Everybody Love - Constantine (oh wait.. i get this one.. i cry bc why the fuck does mf constantine not get more love dammit!!)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Dublin Sky - Darren Hayes (hmm.. gay musicians don't bode well for marriage.. in most states.. maybe i will marry a cute girl then? *crosses fingers*)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
On the Way Down - Ryan Cabrera (falling is bad)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Dead On Arrival - FOB (apparently notsomuch. D:)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
More Than Anyone - Gavin DeGraw (no i don't want to think)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
I Just Want You To Love Me - Darren Hayes (yes.)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Dressed To Kill - New Found Glory

where is your boy tonight i hope he's a gentleman

2009-02-01T07:37:00.000-05:00

FOB from Super Bowl Smash

obv patrick comes first bc i luff him bestest

i mean look at him! how do you not luff him?!

and wtfever he is doing with his foot is just damn adorable.

and then mf trohman had to go all growing out the jew-fro and growing a beard and becoming like suddenly ninja hot and shit

dammit trohman.. just dammit.

and effing pete. i effing hate you pete. where in the goddamn hell are you hiding this effing hoodie you rat bastard?!

i checked the mf clan and it is not there!

i hate you pete. give me that mf hoodie!!!

oh yeah.. and this:

*iz ded*

that is all.

thx to icecreamhdaches for pics

the spamz.. they just keep coming..

2009-01-29T20:48:00.000-05:00

this time for

expatiates

birthday tomorrow~! <3

google verb meme

2009-01-28T06:31:00.000-05:00

GOOGLE VERB MEME:
google your name with a verb and take the first thing that it gives you.
thx to

1. Tabitha needs: Tabitha needs our prayers urgently, Tabitha needs love & attention, . . . elsewhere apparently Tabitha needs a meaty storyline. . .bring it... (rofl! oh yeah bring it!)

2. Tabitha looks like: tabatha LOOKS like THE GRINCH that stole christmas. why has no one seen that they are one and the same? (laugh. my. ass. off.)

3. Tabitha says: tabitha says lets get it onnnn (oh yes lets!)

4. Tabitha wants: TABITHA (WANTS TO BE SEDATED) (twenty twenty four hours ago...)

5. Tabitha does: Tabitha does Single Ladies (Put a ring on it) By Beyonce (apparently i'm a mf rockstar on google. lol.)

6. Tabitha hates: You know, the caption says "Tabitha hates frogs". If this is the case, WHY IN GODS NAME WOULD YOU PUT A GODDAMN FROG ON HER HEAD? Are you mental? (yeah really! why would you!? this shit is killing me laughing so hard!)

7. Tabitha asks: “Minerva,” Tabitha asks her aunt with that trademarked seventies delivery, “have you been flying too low over the poppy fields of Turkey

8. Tabitha likes: Tabatha likes gifts and conversation, but her main factor in increasing Love Points is your monsters. (yep. got your love points right here! XDDD)

9. Tabitha eats: Tabitha eats her dress (whut? i was like way hungry okay!)

10. Tabitha wears: Tabitha wears her heart on her sleeves and cannot hide (trufax this.)

11. Tabitha was arrested for: Tabitha was arrested for drug-related activities. (when i said it was crack i meant crack FICTION people! honestly)

12. Tabitha loves: Tabitha loves me t-shirts, stickers and hoodies. (apparently you can haz merch. hahahaha)

birthday spammage is a go!

2009-01-27T20:24:00.002-05:00

so tomorrow is joshuazgirl128 's birthday.. and i have a little something for her...

hope she likes it ~~bc i know she's kinda hating on dcook right now..~~! <3

guys you don't really have to primp yet.. we haven't really even started the post...

um.. yeah.. thanks for listening.. *facepalm* and just what the hell are the two of you doing over there?! this isn't that kind of a post really...

dammit guys.. you're hopeless..

well i'm glad somebody's amused by these shenanigans! ~~okay i'm amused too but that's beside the point really~~

neal would like to be the first to say happy birthday to you..

also.. he knows dave has been very bad to you.. so he put him in a cage as punishment.. ~~yeah.. that's ttly the reason for the cage~~

dave attempts to look guilty.. is it working? he feels reeeeaaaally bad about it.. honest...

nurse!Neal is not pleased

dammit dave! you're not even trying! there will be punishment for that later dood.. but we're in the middle of something here..

me: you know laughing at nurse!Neal is only going to earn you more punishment dave
andy: um.. i think that's probably the idea..
me: oh. :o

whatev.. on with the pressies!

o hai andy.. um.. okay then.. i.. i guess you're still busy with joey...

continuing on then...

oh great andy. you and joey are starting something..

lord you guys this is not that kind of post! you're all hopeless honestly..

why is it that neal of all people is the only one behaving.. i mean really guys..

that's right dave. you just stand there and look pretty or somebody might catch you with your other boyfriends..

like... mikey? do you remember mikey dave?

that's right.. we all know you've forgotten all about him.. but we remember..

aaaaahhh. the good old days... you were so happy together.... cheezy song reference ftw!

i mean look at your faces!

so happy!

oh don't even make that face... we all know.. it's not like you were hiding it really...

i mean look at this:

srsly.. were you even trying? (by ciwey)

i mean come on... could you be any more gfeo?!

by meowlina

by courts

okies bb! i hope you likes your pressies?! have a superfab birthday!! <333

boycott love. detox just to retox..

2009-01-26T01:16:00.004-05:00

fearnottheflame is made of awesome। why you ask॥ bc she made the monies magykally appear to buy concert tickets to...

wait for it...

FALL. OUT. BOY.

that's right!! we're going to see them on may 8th in ann arbor। how stoked am i? totally hardcore stoked doods. like this:

\o/\o/\o\/o/\o/\o/

all *flailyface* and *hearthands*

i cannot even। i am so excited. plus my bday is on the 13th so it's kind of like "would you like a cupcake for your bday?"

"no. i want patrick effing stump. kthx."

"oh. ok. you can haz."

"wait?! whut?! i can haz।"

"you can। happy bday."

"w00t! omnomnom।"

i know। i'm ridiculous. but i am waaaaaaaay too excited about this. my first fob concert... i'm like dying. for realz. but i cannot actually die bc then i can't haz pstump. and i will haz.

did i mention how totally stoked i am?! :DDDDD

also- this:

and this:

rofl. i love these damn stoopid ass bois so hard. srsly. i pray daily that they never change. you hear me you big ass dorks!? never change.

ETA: um॥ Ran... is that your scarf Neal's wearing????? *dies laughing again*

ETA: talalkhemiyst is also made of awesomeness. there is a reason these ppl are mah besties. check out this shizz! (also if anybody knows how to animate stuff could you plz and i will LOVE YOU 4EVER animate an icon of that for me!!)

this is my wtf face

2009-01-24T06:00:00.002-05:00

okay sooo first of all.. tour date mf finally!!! no clue if i can even get into any of them.. but... *prays* valparaiso uni is like half an hour from me which is ridic. srsly. i know how small that town is. lol. but i am hoping to call them tomorrow and maybe find out if it's students only. i'm refusing to get my hopes up tho bc i have been watching the devastation (davastation?) setting in all around the fandom bc seems like every show somebody checks on in stus only. fail ass anbu tour dave. *headdesk*

beyond that i got the schedule for next week at work tonight and happened to notice that dayna wasn't on it.. so i ask mamma about it. she's not sposeta tell me i guess but haha we tell each other everything biotches so deal with it so she tells me anyhow. apparently last saturday when dayna worked she had a mf party in one of the vacant rooms! no. no really. she did. whatthehell?! and then she didn't bother to clean up the suite. so when the housekeeper goes in to what should be a clean vacant room she finds the whole suite trashed and beer bottles everywhere, including broken ones in the bathroom. for real? oh yes. unbelievable. so, obv, we have surveillance tapes. which, bit surprise, caught her and her friends going in and out of that room and going to the door to let other people in. insanity i tell you. she knows we have cameras. everybody knows.. so she got fired. obv. and is banned from the property. insanity.. see what happens when i go down to 3 days a week and leave them to fend for themselves... i cannot even believe someone would be that stoopid.

i cut my hair the other night (by which i mean i myself in the bathroom with a pair of scissors) and it's looking pretty damn cute actually. talalkhemiyst sez it is ttly vintage!Pete like from, Under the Cork Tree but i cannot even remember so i fail. i will take her word for it. maybe i will post before and after pics tomorrow... maybe.

finished the spiff-o Dr. Stein scarf i was sewing and it is ttly fab. go me. also made one for black star-kun. go go me! rofl. i'm very excited about this plushie idea.. i will be hopefully giving it a shot on my days off next week. *crosses fingers*

rearranged the furniture in my room last night and now the space in my room is like tripled and the energy flow is way stellar. awesome.

super stoked that the watchmen soundtrack drops on march 3rd. cannot wait to hear "desolation row." dammit mcr it has been faaaaaar too long since you are making mf musikz. *shakes fist*

um....

i think that is all...

xo.

What's The Best Thing About Being On The Street Team?

2007-11-28T02:58:00.001-05:00

Take a look at this:
http://sodahead.com/poll/28480/

My Meez

2007-10-30T01:57:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday Joaquin Phoenix!! Picspam (NDUF)

2007-10-27T03:27:00.000-04:00

I wanted to go out karaoke tonite, but my bar (the only one in town I care to even go to) was inexplicably closed... So I am winding cheering myself up by posting a super-hot Joaquin Phoenix birthday spam. Enjoy!

Happy Bday Viggo Mortensen!

2007-10-20T04:53:00.000-04:00

First - as Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings trilogy

I just love his smile - it's such an honest "non-Hollywood" smile...

I love him here, so relaxed & comfortable in his skin.

Viggo with David Cronenberg (director of "A History of Violence" and "Eastern Promises" - which I so have to go see.)

You need only look in those eyes to see how old this man's soul really is...

And lastly, some as Nikolai from his newest film, "Eastern Promises"

Happy Birthday Hugh Jackman!

2007-10-12T07:06:00.000-04:00

I Posted a picspam in honour of Hugh Jackman's birthday over at my livejournal!

Happy Birthday Hisoka!

2007-10-11T04:35:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday to Hisoka from Yami no Matsuei (or Descendants of Darkness)!

Rant!

2007-10-08T21:58:00.000-04:00

Y'know, it's kinda funny. See my sis posted a comment on my page saying "Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints" and she couldn't have picked better. For me, today was one of those days!

Mom & Dad just got their compy back from repair, & they liked the guy who worked on it, so I took mine over. Keith looks it over, listens to me describe all the issues I've been having with it & whatever. He says based on what I'm describing, it's gotta be the motherboard. Turns out basically every part of my poor compy is out-dated as hell. Fuck. So I sat talking with him & going over new parts. We picked out some really good stuff based on what I use it for & the total for my shiny new compy (when it's all done) will be around $600. Fuck. It should be just completely awesome, but damn. Thankfully, we can do it in pieces. So I will drop off some money on payday for parts till I've got them all paid for & then he'll build it for me. It will be nice to have such an awesome system when it's done, but that's a big fucking chunk, seriously!

Well, it took forever to go over all the parts & such, so then I had to run to Walmart to pick up sinus medicine & stuff. Of course there were like 4 lanes open with waayy too many people waiting in every line. And of course I picked the one that had to suddenly stop & do a money drop. And of course she tried to scan my stuff with the guy's stuff ahead of me. Jeezass!

So when I finally get out I hit Wendy's for dinner & when I get home Mom & Dad are pissed because I'm waayyy late & they're starving (I knew they would be).

Finish dinner & try to scan some pages from my journal like I promised Indigo, but (of course!) the scanner says "Fuck You! Don't feel like it!" So I'll have to do that another day.

To cap off my night, I go to let Shadow in & hear it's raining - hard. So I run out, realising I left my windows down in my hurry to get home with dinner. Fuck. My seats are cloth not vinyl & it's all soaked inside. Fabulous.

I shudder to think what my night at work is gonna be like after a day like today. Maybe the Universe will have pity. *prays*

I'm in a really good place right now...

2007-10-01T04:32:00.000-04:00

For the first time in a (very) long time, I'm in a really good place right now. Not a good place as in where I'm living, because right now that's with my folks while I pay off some bills, etc. But a really good place in my life, with myself. I can't remember the last time I really felt like I was doing for myself & focusing on what I want to get out of life. It feels pretty good. I'm working on my Schwoopies. I even have a children's book & a tarot deck in the works! *does motivational dance* I am really pleased with the work I've been doing lately, & the more I work on it, the better it seems to be getting (awesome!).

Besides my art, I am really happy with myself for the first time in what seems like forever. I think the last time I really was close to knowing and understanding myself was in high school (for those who don't know, that was 10 years ago) before I started along the path of bad relationships. I do regret all the time I lost & the me that I lost along the way, but those years have all taught me a great deal of very valuable lessons, so I can't regret it completely. But finally I am coming back to myself & what truly makes me happy, not what can I do to make someone else happy or make them love me. I don't need to make someone love me. I am well worth loving just as I am, cracks & flaws & all!

There is someone I've been kinda talking to over the last couple months & it seems that at this point he's maybe not quite ready & maybe it will just stay as working on a friendship for awhile. A couple months ago, this would have crushed me. I would have felt rejected & miserable & been scrambling to make him want me. It feels good to be able to say that I'm okay with this and actually mean it. (Hallelujah!!) I'm really okay. I'm not upset. I completely understand that he has some things he's still dealing with in his life. And I accept the thought that it might never happen. I'm okay with that too. It seems strange to say that. It's been so long since I was okay with myself & with being alone. To not feel panicky at being alone. To not feel depressed & un-wanted. But the beauty of it is that I am wanted - by me! I am enough, just by myself. Of course I want to be with someone, but I don't have to be to be happy. Wow! I think I've finally reached the point of "becoming a 1"!

A 'Promise' in blood - Film

2007-09-28T03:24:00.000-04:00

A 'Promise' in blood - Film

Mortensen owns Russian mobster role
By Blake Goble, Daily Arts Writer on 9/24/07

Sleek, lean and lethal, Nikolai Luzhin is a frighteningly efficient solider in the Vory V Salome, London's Russian mafia. He's the recent recipient of high honors, and he flaunts it with a body covered in imposing tattoos.

But such badges don't matter when he's stark naked in a Russian bathhouse and about to be butchered. Struggling and desperate, Nikolai must brawl with two bounty hunters coming at him with knives. Nikolai is scared, doggedly working to ensure his own life however he can.

Graphic and haunting, this may be the classic scene of "Eastern Promises," the moment that will be immortalized later like the best of "Scarface" or "Fight Club." It's the climax of an unforgettable thriller from now-elder statesman David Cronenberg ("A History of Violence"), arguably his most accomplished work to date.

(click link to read full article)

Death Note coming to Adult Swim

2007-09-28T03:04:00.000-04:00

I just found out from About.com that Death Note will premiere on Adult Swim October 20th at midnight. I love the idea of Death Note getting more exposure, because not enough people know about it, seriously. But Death Note in Cartoon Network's hands concerns me. I can't help but worry that they're gonna start chopping as soon as it's in their hot little hands.. because, well, that's just what they seem to do with any new anime series they get! And, honestly, to anyone who's watched it, you know there are some things they're gonna cut. I bet you're already listing the scenes in your head..

models & movies

2007-09-26T03:40:00.000-04:00

It's so sick that I spent the whole afternoon watching a marathon of ANTM, but something about that show is just so damn addicting.. LOL! There's like a whole slew of new shows I'd like to catch coming up this season, but I bet I won't watch any of them. I really don't watch that much TV anymore. Internet is my total vice! I only seem to watch TV when I'm watching it with other people, or someone else is online.

Maybe I should just plug the modem into my arm!Since plans for this week are a no-go, I think maybe I'll go the movies Friday night. I'm dying to see Across the Universe. I bet it's at the theatre in MC... Of course, that means I'll be going to the movies alone, which I've never done & is a bit scary, but WTF?! At least that way I know I'll get to see the movie I want, get to enjoy it, & nobody will bitch if I talk to the movie. (Well, maybe the people in front of me, but they're not my peeps, so who cares...)

American Idol (so way spoilers)

2007-05-02T22:30:00.000-04:00

I am completely miserable... I can't believe that damn fake-ass Jordin & diva-egomaniacal Lakisha are still there and Phil & Chris are gone. I can't stand it.

To anyone who's ever HEARD a fucking Bon Jovi song, we all know they both butchered those songs.. Jordin was just a freakin' joke trying to sing anything Rock, especially "Livin' On A Prayer" & Lakisha sang "This Ain't A Love Song" like it really wasn't. She completely missed the poing Jon was making about the true meaning of that song & she sang it like an angry break-up anthem. Dumb bitch. She never listens to anyone. She thinks she knows it all & is just plain entitled to something, so she just does whatever she wants.

Phil opened the show with an incredible performance of "Blaze of Glory." As far as I think, it was his best performance. He's never looked that confident onstage. He was fantastic. I don't think "Wanted" was Chris' best performance, but it was still a great performance. He was smoldering and I think maybe he didn't get a fair review because he had to follow Blake.. who was phenomenal. I think Jordin or Lakisha shoulda followed Blake & then people could see how shallow & un-original they really are. >_<

Blake & Chris were so adorable talking to Ryan just before the results... "We're best friends" "I'd go home for him in a heartbeat" "We're going on tour together" God I hope they do.. That's a concert I'd sell my little brother for tickets to. (Sorry Jim)

It's completely wrong. I don't want to sound prejudice, but I know (and I'm sure I'm not the only one) who is voting for Lakisha, and it's completely wrong. People should win this competition based on their talent. It's sposeta be a talent competition, not a popularity contest, but fans have been complaining about that all year.

Bottom Line: If the finale of this season is Jordin vs. Lakisha, you won't get me to watch another season. I will know American Idol is dead.

What Tree Did You Fall From?

2007-03-31T20:42:00.000-04:00

WHAT TREE DID YOU FALL FROM?

Find your birthday and then find your tree. This is really cool and somewhat accurate. Then send it to your friends, including the one that sent it to you, so they can find out what tree they fell from, but don't forget to change the subject line to your tree. Find your tree below and see what you are like...

Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 (only) - Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 (only) - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 22 - Fig Tree
Dec 23 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree

TREES (in alphabetical order)

Apple Tree (Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children and animals, needs affectionate partner.

Ash Tree (Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.

Beech Tree (Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).

Birch Tree (Inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

Cedar Tree (Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

Chestnut Tree (Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive,well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.

Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves togain knowledge, needs to be needed.

Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

Fig Tree (Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, sexually oriented, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.

Fir tree (Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.

Hazelnut Tree (Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.

Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

Oak Tree (Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

Olive Tree (Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

Pine Tree (Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance.

Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

Weeping Willow (Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh.

Eragon [rant]

2007-03-28T01:32:00.000-04:00

Okay, I won't go into detail... partly for the sake of spoilers, and partly for the sake of my fingers falling off from typing about all the things they totally fucked up. Suffice it to say, I could probably count on one hand the number of things they got right - including the title. Jim (my not-so-little brother) & I sat down to watch it, partly expecting some discrepencies. Neither of us expected the complete pile of rubbish that spewed from the DVD player. (Jim said, after we watched the whole blessed steaming pile o' crap, that he needs to sanitize his DVD player now.) I don't think there was a single scene we could actually enjoy. EVERYTHING was wrong, including, but not limited to: there was no romance between Eragon & Aria, Brom should've been older (think Gandalf-esque), where was the pivotal werecat from the apothecary, the fight with the shade was all wrong, they left out huge & rather important segments with training & testing, Brom was not nearly so forthcoming with info (Eragorn practically had to pull teeth or trick him to get answers). And that's just the beginning. If you have read the books, do not, I repeat DO NOT see this movie, unless you go into it with the expectation of anger & major irritation for 2 hours. If you've seen the movie, know that the books are so much better than the transparent, cheap & predictable version on film. The books are wonder-full & well worth the read. When the turkey-fest finally concluded, I felt the need to thoroughly tenderize my brother's pillows while he flailed around in his chair muttering under his breath.

Did I mention I was rather disappointed?

I refuse to be Spongebob!!! >_<

2006-01-29T17:51:00.000-05:00

Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character you most resemble? Group of investigators got together, analyzed the personalities of well known & modern cartoon characters. Information gathered was made into this test: Answer all the questions with what describes you best, add up all your points (which are
next to answer that you choose) at the end & look for your results.

1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)
b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)
c) Painting in the park (5 pts.)
d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)

2. What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock & Roll (2 pts.)
b) Alternative (1 pt.)
c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
d) Country (5 pts.)
e) Pop (3 pts.)

3. What type of movies do you prefer?
a) Comedy (2 pts.)
b) Horror (1 pt.)
c) Musical (3 pts.)
d) Romance (4 pts.)
e) Documentary (5 pts.)

4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?
a) Waiter (4 pts.)
b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
c) Teacher (3 pts.)
d) Police (2 pts.)
e) Cashier (1 pt)

5. What do you do with your spare time?
a) Exercise (5 pts.)
b) Read (4 pts.)
c) Watch television (2 pts.)
d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
e) Sleep (3 pts.)

6. Which one of the following colors do you like best?
a) Yellow (1 pt.)
b) White (5 pts.)
c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)
d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)
e) Red (4 pts.)

7. What do you prefer to eat right now?
a) Snow (3 pts.)
b) Pizza (2 pts.)
c) Sushi (1 pt.)
d) Pasta (4 pts.)
e) Salad (5 pts.)

8. What is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween (1 pt.)
b) Christmas (3 pts.)
c) New Year (2 pts.)
d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)
e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)

9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
a) Paris (4 pts.)
b) Spain (5 pts.)
c) Las Vegas (1 pt.)
d) Hawaii (4 pts.)
e) Hollywood (3 pts.)

10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time?
a) Someone smart (5 pts.)
b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)
d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)
e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points & find the answer you have been waiting for!

~ ~ ~ Score Points ~ ~ ~
(10~16 points) You are Garfield: You are very com fortable, easy going & definitely know how to have fun but sometimes take it to an extreme. You always know what you're doing & are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean you always have to do what's right. Try to remember your happy spirit may hurt you or others.

(17~23 points) You are Snoopy: You are fun, you are very cool & popular. You always know what's in & you are never out of style. You are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married & having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.

(24~28 points) You are Elmo: You have lots of friends, are also popular, always willing to give advice & help out a perso! n in need. You are very optimistic & always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: Try not to be too much of a dreamer, if not you'll have many conflicts in life.

(29~35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants: You are a classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have & never want to lose. You never cause harm to anyone & they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny & calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors & jealous people, then you will be stress free.

(36~43 points) You are Charlie Brown: You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your mom every Sunday. You have many friends & may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.

(44 ~50 points) You are Dexter: You are smart & definitely a thinker. Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. Maintain a stable routine but never ignore a a bad situation when it comes.

Checking for a pulse

2006-01-28T21:18:00.000-05:00

So I spent last night with a couple friends I haven't seen in months. We were doing the review of the time apart & when I mentioned that I'd gone to church (which, if you know me, is rather unusual) Frankie asked if I was "looking for God." I just went because I was visiting my mother that day and hadn't realised they were leaving for church soon and when she said so something told me to go. I have been trying very hard not to question things like that because it seem like something in me has closed up. I used to be a very open and welcoming person. I used to be a "people person" but recently I seem more anti-social. I can't explain it, I don't understand it myself... I have no want or motivation to do anything... I guess what I'm looking for is signs of life, in myself. Am I still in here? Where has the person gone with infinite energy and ideas and not enough time, or arms, to do all the things I wanna be working on? So I am just trying to be open to whatever the universe presents to me. I am trying to accept inspiration from wherever it appears.

These same friends want me and my bf to move in with them this spring. Brian and I have already agreed we like the idea and are both very eager to move like, RIGHT NOW!! But I have this fear that it won't happen, that they will change their minds at the last moment. They are my only two friends left and I adore them. Whenever we're together, they make me to feel like I could do anything. I feel inspired, magnified, more confident.... and it's not anything they do, it's just that they have the same spirit that I do to live life, to reach for more, to inspire and create and never stop... and I want that to be my everyday life, not just my yeah-I-think-I-have-the-gas-this-month. I don't get to spend nearly enough time with them because they life about a half hour away and money is so tight lately that I don't have the gas. I think having them around all the time, every day going "hey, loser- haven't you gotten off your ass yet" would be a huge help. I know this sounds a little selfish.. but these are very strong feelings that I have. And I think I might give a little of this to them as well. I love their stories (writers) and I encourage them when no one else responds to their work. Plus we've had some fantastic ideas together and they'd be much easier to breathe to life if all were in the same place geographically as well as mentally.

Can I still suffer The OC??

2006-01-26T22:07:00.000-05:00

It just figures that I would fall in love with a show right before everything on it goes to total shit, right? Just my fucking luck. I was totally loving The OC, despite my best efforts to find it heinous and vapid... I so wanted it to be vapid. But, alas, in one fell swoop someone vapid shows up from prep school (where they breed the vapid) and destroys everything.... And just for the record may I reiterate JOHNNY IS NOT WORTH ALL THIS... the guy is pathetic, weak, has really bad hair... he's just like this leaching little creature trying to cling to anyone... ACK!! Can we be rid of him, please... And if princess Kaitlyn would just talk to Marissa, maybe something might get better, instead of just being determined to destroy her. And why is it that with every ep Marissa seems to be getting more irritating... what's that about? I liked her when I started watching at the beginning of the season, but I dislike her and become more annoyed with her very presence with every episode... Perhaps it's the white trash in me revolting against the fact that she has everything- a mother who, while sometimes a bit on the evil side, loves her kids and tries very hard to make things work without having to hurt anyone.... She's got amazing friends who she really doesn't seem to appreciate... and She's got RYAN!! Yes, he can be a little frustrating with his inability to communicate, but he throws himself at everything he comes up against and supports her beyond everything... he's even saved her would-be boyfriend from himself, repeatedly!!!

*THWACK*

Wake up Marissa, you twit!!!

************

Beyond all that ranting.. I have finally received an e from my MIA best friend.. who I'd kind of given up on.. chalk that up to my being disposable by most accounts... But I have word at last, so I guess I still have her. Really, it's rather depressing to know that someone's friendship can mean [almost] more than that of the one you live with & pledge to spend your life with.. but it's complicated. I know positively in the back of my mind that he will leave, or force me to, because it always happens... for all my dreaming, I will get no happy ending. That, sadly, is not my story. Lousy to know for a fact that your life is destined to change, fall apart and rebuild... Thus the moniker "In Permanent Transition"... I think that I lost the one chance I had for a happy ever after. That was my mistake for not seeing it at the time.. Even more frustrating is my gift. I can see thru "doorways" between realities.

See, when you make a life-altering decision and move forward, that other life still exists, like separate paths in a labyrinth. You choose to step thru one door, but the other door remains and continues... Sometimes we are extremely lucky and, if you choose right, the life you're living may reconnect or intersect that other life you left behind and you get a second chance to make that decision. Not to say the other life is always better... but sometimes destiny tries more than once to steer us in a particular direction.

My gift is that I can see that parallel life. Usually, it's only upon looking back at something that I can see thru the "veil" of time that other life and where it leads, but very rarely I can see it spread before and choose one or the other. I am working to cultivate that ability... but I'm also not holding my breath. At this point, the best I have learned is never NEVER to question my instincts on things. If I have the feeling to do something, I must do that thing. If I flinch, it's already too late. My instincts may not always make sense, even to me, but if I know what to do then I do it without asking why? or if it's right, because if I stop to ask, or I'm too afraid my questions won't be answered, I will be punished by destiny, by fate. I will be taught a very hard lesson that shows quite plainly why I should have done what I was told.

My "gift" is frustrating because I think of Brian, or the ones before him, and I can see where our lives together will lead (or would have lead) and I can watch it similar to a movie, all smiles and love and glitter. But I know that in reality I will never have that life. See, when I look at a person, I don't see their body, their shell. Yes, I see them in the physical realm as another human being.. in that way, I see them. But when I communicate with someone, I communicate with them soul to soul. When I look at Brian (or when I looked at the ones before him) I see his spirit, his true self, and that is what I am in love with.. the painful part is that the world has already damaged that self and it's very unlikely, despite all my efforts, that I will get to enjoy a life of happiness with him and his true self.

And so I try to make things as good as possible while I have him, knowing that eventually the world will take him from me. I don't know why. I wish I did. I wish I understood why I am forced to endure a life of loneliness, never feeling secure. Never having the safety of even thinking "this time it will work".. why can't I at least have a lovely illusion to enjoy? Why do I have to struggle on knowing it won't work, it will never work? If I have to know it will go wrong, why not show me the way to the one that will work? or show me how to fix this one? What good is a gift if it doesn't help?

I'm so tired of being alone... Even when I'm with someone I am still alone.

Score 1 for me!

2006-01-02T01:53:00.000-05:00

I actually managed to get the living room done on Friday... and all I had to do was forbid Brian to answer the phone or talk to any of his friends & tell him he couldn't go anywhere till it was done! O.o Living with him really can be like raising a teenager sometimes... LOL

Happy Birthday Ed!!!!

2006-01-02T01:14:00.000-05:00

Today we celebrate the birthday of Edward “Ed” Wong Hau Pepely Tivursky 4th from the bounty hunter crew of Cowboy Bebop!

image from Edlicious! The Fanlisting for Edward of Cowboy Bebop

Edward's birthday

2006-01-02T01:12:00.000-05:00

drawn by "bebop05" at The Otaku (but I cannot find the bloody link >,<)

Birthday Ed-ness!!

2006-01-02T01:09:00.000-05:00

Image from Ghost Anime Kitties

A very Ed-licious birthday!

2006-01-02T01:04:00.000-05:00

image source: we-love-anime

Impending House ... and house re-decorating

2005-12-29T21:58:00.000-05:00

Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! More House!!! There were commercials playing all last night during my Law & Order marathon!! House is coming to USA!! January 6th!!! I was just doing a little happy dance because I only came into House at the end of last season & maybe now I can catch it from the beginning…. WOOHOO!!!

This new jobs gonna kill me yet… We only worked one day this week!! One Day!!! So I don’t go back to work till the 3^rd, which would be nice if I was getting paid for any of this.. The only good point will be that my “New Year’s Resolution” is to get this apt. straightened up a little and get the living room and office rearranged and ORGANIZED and Brian’s gonna help, whether he likes it or not…. LOL If only I can get him to stop inviting people over to hang out or running off to fix someone’s compy…… >_<

I realize it’s part Yule, but this is still amusing: Christmas in Middle Earth

As for Christmukkah, it wasn’t all that bad… Went to my parents on Christmas Eve (morning) and had breakfast… way too much breakfast… fried potatoes, sausage (links & patties), scrambly eggs, biscuits & gravy….. Everybody was just miserably full….. Sammi got off work around 12, so we opened all the presents & such a little after she got there.. She gave me some Ah My Goddess DVDs, which was cool because my anime collection is seriously weak. My parents gave us an ice scraper for the truck (that makes 3), some Tupperware-style storage containers, which we definitely needed & a crock pot (because anyone who knows me knows how much I love cooking O.o). But overall, it was a nice holiday. at about 3 mom comes out with the snack cracker & cheese trays & we all snacked on those (even tho no one was actually hungry… what is it about snack trays?!?!). About 6 mom starts in with the ham & rolls & all that & we ate some more (even tho I was still full from breakfast!)

Throughout the day my sister gave glorious examples of the “evil mommy” syndrome she is plagued with… I get that there are rules & boundaries and all that for kids to follow, but I was of the understanding that these rules did not apply to Christmas & other holidays…. But not Samm. She was still just as evil as always…. THWACK!

I can’t even describe the hideous gifts we were given by other loved ones who shall remain nameless & the glaring revelation from these gifts that these people (after all these years) still have no clue what kind of person I am or what I really like.. at least there were no cross necklaces this year. >_<

Anyway, hope everyone had a happy holiday in their own way, with their own meaning.

Happy 29th Birthday to Jude Law!!

2005-12-29T21:47:00.000-05:00

Oh... Jude Law... now I, like any other girl, love a sexy, steamy, mysterious man with eyes you could get lost in... but I have always been a real sucker for a sense of humour and a killer smile... And this birthday boy's got both....

*drool*

image from Embrace the Obsession

THUD

2005-12-29T21:44:00.000-05:00

image from Embrace the Obsession

YUMMY! YUMMY!

2005-12-29T21:42:00.000-05:00

Jude Law's 29th bday

2005-12-29T21:30:00.000-05:00

Jude Law's 29th bday

2005-12-29T21:28:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Tatsumi!!!

2005-12-27T22:32:00.000-05:00

image from We Love Anime

Tatsumi's Birthday

2005-12-27T22:27:00.000-05:00

image from Bane Huntress

Congrats Elton & David!!!

2005-12-21T17:05:00.000-05:00

Elton John Ties Knot

WINDSOR (Reuters) - British pop star Elton John tied the knot with long-term partner David Furnish on Wednesday, joining hundreds of gay couples across England taking advantage of a new law to formalize their relationships.

After a short civil ceremony, the celebrity couple emerged into the sunlight and greeted hundreds of cheering well wishers and the world's press, who had brought the streets of the royal town of Windsor to a standstill.

"Thank you," a beaming John mouthed to the crowds, as he stood arm-in-arm with Canadian-born Furnish.

Two young women rushed up to the couple and presented them with a wedding cake outside the Guildhall, the same building where heir-to-the-throne Britain's Prince Charles married Camilla Parker Bowles earlier in the year.

The normally flamboyant pair surprised some pundits by wearing traditional black morning suits. The civil partnership ceremony was a small, private affair, attended by a handful of friends and with the couple's parents acting as witnesses.

John will host up to 700 guests at a lavish evening party on his nearby estate, including former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham and singer George Michael.

"He is so high-profile, he has done the gay world a huge service by being so vocal," 66-year-old bystander Bob Charles said.

Charles and his partner of 40 years, Roy Williams, plan a civil partnership ceremony of their own in February, possibly in their home town of Windsor.

"HAPPIEST DAY"

Fifty-eight-year-old John said before the ceremony that it would be "the happiest day of my life."

The new civil partnership law gives gay couples the same property and inheritance rights as married heterosexuals and entitles them to the same pension, immigration and tax benefits.
Unlike in Belgium, Spain and Canada it is not a marriage, however, prompting criticism from some gay rights campaigners.

"By legislating a two-tier system of relationships, Labor (government) has, in effect, created a form of legal apartheid based on sexual orientation," Peter Tatchell of the OutRage! group wrote on his Web site (www.petertatchell.net).

Wednesday is the first day same-sex couples can go through with gay "weddings" in England, two days after they began in Northern Ireland.

In Belfast on Monday, Grainne Close and her partner Shannon Sickels faced a small number of Christian protesters when they became the first women in the United Kingdom to hold a civil partnership ceremony.

But there were no signs of disapproval in Windsor on Wednesday, only a giant cartoon held up by one well-wisher depicting Queen Elizabeth, whose castle overlooks the town, saying: "I thought I was the only queen in the village."

"It's fantastic," Richard Kendall said after John and Furnish had been whisked away in a limousine escorted by police outriders.

"I've been here since seven o'clock this morning, I'm a bit of an Elton John fan and it's combined with a truly historical moment."

Film producer Furnish, 43, who has been with John for around 12 years, welcomed the new law.
"It is one of the defining issues of our times. And I applaud Britain for embracing the diversity of our society," he said in a recent interview with gay lifestyle magazine Attitude.

John, with estimated sales of 200 million records worldwide and performer of classic hits including "Your Song" and "Candle in the Wind," previously married Renate Blauel in 1984 but they divorced four years later.

By Mike Collett-White

The New Rules

2005-12-11T18:57:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I totally ganked this from Rock Hard & wanted to share because it had me laughing out loud like a retard...

The New Rules

1. New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

2. New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

3. New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

4. New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay. When you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. When you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

5. New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done. (HAHAHA!)

6. New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt.
That's your flavored water.

7. New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, and with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his old ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

8. New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the ass****. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're such a huge ass****.

9. New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there
eating my Almond Joy.

10. New Rule: Ladies, just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

11. New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

12. New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go wild and eat two.

13. New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting. (HAHAHAHA!!!!)

14. New Rule, and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

15. New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't care in the first place. (*ROFLMFAO!!! I *hate* that!)

16. New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

Dommie bday spam

2005-12-11T02:15:00.000-05:00

I admit darling Dom's birthday was actually on the 8th, but my net was dead then, so the piccies come now - besides anytime is Dom time!

His smile is just the best... *melts*

I also posted a wallpaper of him I made over on the Coloring Book

from Fellowship DVD behind the scenes

Dommie bday spam

2005-12-11T02:12:00.000-05:00

from 2004 art exhibit "Darkness" ( I used photo editor to make it look like a sketch)

Dommie bday spam

2005-12-11T02:10:00.000-05:00

from The Two Towers premiere in 2002

Dommie bday spam

2005-12-11T02:08:00.000-05:00

image source: It's not Easy Being Green

Dommie bday spam

2005-12-11T02:05:00.000-05:00

image source: It's not Easy Being Green

Happy Birthday Kazu-kun!!!

2005-12-04T21:38:00.000-05:00

screencapped by Saki

Muraki bday spam

2005-12-04T21:36:00.000-05:00

screencapped by Saki

Muraki bday spam

2005-12-04T21:34:00.000-05:00

Muraki birthday spam

2005-12-04T21:32:00.000-05:00

image source: we-love-anime

Movie Review: Goblet of Fire (so SPOILERS!)

2005-12-03T00:53:00.000-05:00

First of all, it was fantastic. Yes, there were things done technically wrong, but in a simpler way for the movie that were not really integral to the story. No, we didn't get to hear Dobby talking about Harry's "Weasy". Yes, Cedric was so coming onto Harry in basically every scene they shared.

In all honesty, when I read Cedric's death in the book I was kind of "Oh, well, that sucked, but he was a pompous self important ass in the book anyway." In the movie he was all fluffy, nice, fair, friendly, etc, etc. and I was crying before it even happened because I knew it was about to. And I couldn't help thinking if only he'd just taken the cup when Cedric offered it to him.. or not saved him from the bush- then they'd have gotten him out just like Fleur & then everyone would be ok.

WTF was with Filch's hopping into the Great Hall?!?! Harry was just a bit of hotness in the prefect's bath, but damn where is my Myrtle-repellent?! Yikes!! Now, I didn't dislike Krum in the book, but movie Krum is kinda like an buffed-up fanboy. How cute was he? And I seriously think Ron was way digging Krum more than Fleur.... The dragon was amazing and beautiful- an absolutely fantastic scene... The mermaids were really cool.. It was just fantastic!!

Turning Draco into a ferret had me just rolling in the floor that was so funny!! And the Yule Ball- Ron's robes were even more dreadfull than they looked in the pics I've seen- Poor Ron! Harry was just smashing- too bad he was bored stupid. Hermione just looked fabulous! Absolutely. And Neville was too cute- dancing around the boy's room... adorable.

Happy Birthday Genjo Sanzo!!

2005-11-30T23:13:00.000-05:00

Technically, Sanzo's birthday was yesterday, but better late than never!
image from Tsukiusagi no utage

2005-11-30T23:11:00.000-05:00

artwork by Kayobashi at Fanart Central

2005-11-30T23:07:00.000-05:00

from * * *Gensomaden Saiyuki...* * *

2005-11-30T23:05:00.000-05:00

from Anime Visions [open your eyes and dream]

My Harry Potter love match is...

2005-11-30T21:34:00.000-05:00

Harry Potter
You crave your own knight in shining armour: the
guy who will swoop in and save you, and manage
to be a sweet lover and good dad all at the
same time. You are the girl he's fighting for!

Who is your Harry Potter love match? (for girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

RENT review... and a little bit bitchy tonite...

2005-11-28T21:49:00.000-05:00

As for RENT, it was amazing, wonderful, beautiful, bittersweet, inspirational and real. I've never had the pleasure of actually seeing the play, but the movie was outstanding. I actually wish it had been longer, but I find that with a lot of movies- guess my attention span is longer than that of the average movie-goer, which is a shame... Honestly, tho, it was fantastic. You can't help loving the characters - except Benny, who I still think is a scheez (:P). I would suggest if you have to pee, you do it during Maureen's performance- it's heinous. Truly.

As for the bitchy... Brian is babysitting for our nazi landlords- again. They always have him working when we could be spending time together. Tonite I was hoping to rearrange the living room so we could make room for the Yule tree, but no such luck... babysitting again. By Spring, we are getting the hell outta here one way or another...

A blog reborne!!

2005-11-15T00:07:00.000-05:00

On the links list, you may notice that the "Obsessions" blog has been removed & a new listing added for "Sakahumino's Fizzy Fanarts". This is the new incarnation of the Obsessions blog. I make some fanart & wallpapers from time to time- nothing at all fancy, as I don't have any cool graphics programs, but they're kinda cute in their own way... Anyhow- I'll be posting the old ones I've made & any new ones I make in the future over there if you're interested.

2 things (THE list)

2005-11-13T00:21:00.000-05:00

Two names you go by:
1. Tabi
2. Baby

2 parts of your heritage
1. Irish
2. Cherokee

2 things that scare you
1. bees
2. the dark

2 things you are wearing right now
1. purple fuzzy slippers
2. my favourite pair of "comfy pants"

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment)
1. Counting Crows
2. Crash Moderns

2 favorite songs (at the moment)
1. Sugar We're Going Down - Fallout Boy
2. Honky Tonk Badonkadonk - Trace Adkins

2 truths
1. I'm broke
2. I download way too many fucking pictures

2 of your favorite hobbies (besides scrapbooking??)
1. Webmistressing
2. net-surfing

2 things you want really badly
1. my own house
2. a better job

2 places you want to go on vacation
1. Ireland
2. San Fransisco

2 things you want to do before you die
1. get married
2. start my own business

2 ways that you are stereotypically a chick
1. the only thing I know about cars is where the keys go & how to pump gas
2. hook up electronics - you're kidding, right?

2 things you are thinking about now
1. debt
2. brakes for my truck

2 stores you shop at
1. Walmart
2. Dollar General

2 favorite movies
1. What Dreams May Come
2. Wedding Crashers

swiped from It's Not Always Rainbows & Butterflies

2005-11-10T22:15:00.000-05:00

Which Fullmetal Alchemist yaoi pairing are you?
Created by Nalavashi

Throwing pillows...

2005-11-10T21:09:00.000-05:00

OMG!! For starters, can I slap Marissa now, PLEASE?!?!?!? Yeah, if you've got nobody then Johnny would be cute- if he didn't have a girlfriend already!! But she has Ryan!!! "He just gets me..." Summer should've smothered her with a pillow till she regained her senses! (BTW- Am I the only one who found it interesting that Sum & Coop were sharing a bed...???) And that damn Taylor Townsend!! As if?! Get Cohen some Taylor repellent stat!!

And on to Reunion- SHE MARRIED CRAIG?!?!??!?! That's it, there's no hope for this bitch at all!! No intelligent woman would make that choice... Oh, and Carla with the dad! That's some kind of craziness... So Jenna's dead... no one really liked her from the start anyway, but I'm interested to see why they killed her.

OH DAMN!!! it wasn't Jenna??!! I guess it was Sam after all... I still don't get why they killed her either.... We'll see...

Dang, Carla.. don't put up with that!! Stooopid little girl... especially when Aaron's flown back from Prague just for you!!

I can't wait for next week.. of either show!!

Happy Birthday Gojyo!!

2005-11-10T17:38:00.000-05:00

Okay, so technically his bday was yesterday, but I wasn't feeling up the effort this requires. Many apologies for the lateness & hoping the prettiness will earn my forgiveness!!

source : Bane Huntress

2005-11-10T17:36:00.000-05:00

source: Ghost Anime Kitties

2005-11-10T17:35:00.000-05:00

source: Gensomaden Saiyuki

2005-11-10T17:32:00.000-05:00

source: Tsukiusagi no utage

2005-11-10T17:22:00.000-05:00

source: Delightful Antagonism

Seven Deadly Sins & Virtues

2005-11-04T23:38:00.000-05:00

Meme swiped from Z-chan's Ramblings. (WTF is a "meme" anyway???!!)

The Seven Deadly Sins

ANGER

1. Who did you last get angry with? the fucking Food Stamp ppl
2. What is your weapon of choice? a forked tongue
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? frequently- as they do often deserve a good flogging
4. How about of the same sex? oh definitely
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? Brian
6. What is your pet peeve? rudeness
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? Usually I can let go easily.. .but then there are those things that just stick in my heart....

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you have not done in a long time? clean up the kitchen
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? It was past 2-ish, for sure.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? Lloyd
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? "I can just do it tomorrow" is usually effective.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)? I'll say I think I fell asleep... it was very late....
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? months and MONTHS ago...
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? I didn't have to set it today... ^.^

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? bottled water
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat? White.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? not on purpose
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? There are people who don't? Honestly!?
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? Sweets.
7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "LUNCH!"? No, thank god!! (There's always Ramen.)

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? at least 12
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? Probably more than that.
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? But I didn't make it obvious.
4. Have you "done it"? Repeatedly.
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Hair, ass, arms.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? Negative.
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? Sadly yes.

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own? You think anyone would gimme a credit card? LOL
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? If they've got anime, Harry Potter, or LOTR boys, I'm the 1st one in the door.
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Pay off old bills, truck, buy house, save it.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Rich, no contest.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? Without a 2nd thought.
6. Have you ever stolen anything? Can you say clepto boys & girls?
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? got 3217 in the media player, but dunno if they're all MP3s.

PRIDE

1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? Muse duty.
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? Bought my own truck. Haven't moved back home.. haven't got pregnant.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? To have my own home & someone to spend my life with.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? That would be an up-step from where I usually am...
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? I loathe competition.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? There is that chance.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? Got out of bed & took a shower & started my day when I could have easily not.

ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? My sister has a house... or Frankie & Ani's music collection.
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? My mom, Dani & Frankie.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? Someone "independently wealthy" with their own house, business...
4. Have you ever been cheated on? Often.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Of course.
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? Self-confidence, courage.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? I've made others before.
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? Lust.

The Seven Heavenly Virtues

FAITH

1. What religion do you follow? Pagan.
2. What religion were you raised as? Christian.
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property? human I guess.
4. Do you believe in magic? In everything, every day.
5. What was the last promise you broke? That I would drive out to see my friends, but then had no gas $$.
6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it? I usually bow my head out of respect, but don't recite.
7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect? No one.

HOPE

1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season? I never do.
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? To be able to clear up my old debts & someday have a house.
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure? Eternally optimistic about all the wrong things.
5. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? Once or twice.
6. Do you gamble? No.
7. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway? no.

CHARITY

1. What causes do you support? Never have the money to really support anything, but I plug worthy causes on my blog or webby.
2. What causes have you given money or time to? Helped build a park in town.
3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless? No.
4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another type? Probably not.
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street? They don't hang around on the street where I live.
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like food and rent? When I could.
7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need? Helped them move miles and miles away... Stayed with them to keep them company.

FORTITUDE

1. What are you most afraid of? Dying alone
2. What did you do today that was really brave? Let Josh bring his gf, a stranger, to my house to stay the nite.
3. Who is your favorite superhero, and why? Teen Titans
4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? If it were someone I love.
5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart? Courage.
6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? Still do, but not as bad as in high school.
7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower? I would like to lead, but I tend more to inspire others and then follow them.

JUSTICE

1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? No.
2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would find some way out of it? I would hate every minute of it, but dunno how I'd hide.
3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)? Very tricky....
4. Which should be guaranteed legal, prostitution or marijuana? I don't see how it would make much difference.
5. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA? Certainly not.
6. What was your favorite media circus trial? I despise media circus BS.
7. Have you ever written a letter to a politician? Maybe in school....

TEMPERANCE

1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on? Shopping.
2. Do you collect anything? Anime, music, fanart, fanfic, pictures....
3. Are you addicted to anything? Anime, internet, compy, music...
4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan? my car.. maybe a layaway once.
5. What's your preferred method of paying for things? Cash.
6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do? Make up all the bills I have now.
7. Do you feel that you obsess over things? Everything I can find to obsess about.

PRUDENCE

1. Who is the wisest person you know? Probably me.
2. Have you ever participated in a vigil? No.
3. Do you take advice when it's given? If it makes sense.
4. What area are you wisest in? The lessons life teaches, inspiration, listening to intuition.
5. Do you drive defensively? Motly.
6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage? Would you ever? I don't know that I've ever had protected sex to be honest.
7. What did you learn today? To get the directions myself.
8. And of course, what is your favorite heavenly virtue? Hope!

Happy Birthday Peter Jackson!!

2005-11-01T22:35:00.000-05:00

Happy 44th birthday to Peter Jackson! Peter Jackson, who was born in Pukerua Bay, New Zealand on October 31, 1961, is 44 years old today. Peter Jackson is the Director of the Lord of the Rings films, and he also wrote the screenplays with Frances Walsh. He's also been in all three movies, he was the guy eating the carrot in Fellowship, a Rohirrim Warrior in the Two Towers, and mercenary on the boat in Return of the King.

Happy 31st Birthday Joaquin Phoenix!!!

2005-10-27T15:58:00.000-04:00

Joaquin in "Walk the Line"
image source: Rotten Tomatoes.com

Viggo Mortensen Birthday Picspam

2005-10-20T21:58:00.000-04:00

GQ June 2004 [source: TORN.net]

2005-10-20T21:43:00.000-04:00

2005-10-20T21:42:00.000-04:00

GQ (US) - November, 2005

2005-10-19T22:49:00.000-04:00

[for all the pretty piccies check GQ]

Orlando Bloom sits chewing banana and peanut butter on toast, having his morning tea on what could be the patio of a modest little house anywhere in the world—watching his coal black mutt ramble around on the grass, chew twigs, and relieve himself. But little things everywhere hint that this is a partly ?ctional realm. Bloom is swathed in one of the long scarves he favors, covered in trinkets, and wearing combat-weight black boots, but because he has become so extraordinarily well-known for playing epic roles, the overall effect is of a man who is not quite modern but in modern dress. And this is no man’s house but a lavish bungalow at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood. It’s not even one of the A-list bungalows down on the main level, where John Belushi breathed his last. This one is far more grand—seemingly ?oating above the hotel, insulated from the world by heavy gray wooden doors. It even has a private exit so that Bloom can come and go without fear of paparazzi.

The moment he speaks—despite outward appearances—it’s clear that the only thing that isn’t tinged with unreality is Bloom himself, who comes across as impossibly levelheaded. He is ?nishing his ?rst role as a contemporary American man, a character in the ?ctional real world, in Cameron Crowe’s new romantic comedy, Elizabethtown. “Being a Brit, I’ve spent most of my time here either in New York or L.A.,” Bloom says, unselfconsciously smacking peanut butter as he speaks. “But during the Elizabethtown shoot, we were staying in the Brown Hotel, a classic, old-school place in Louisville. Going to Kentucky was a whole different side of America I never knew about. It was America. The hats, the suits—they’re not letting go of their traditions. Which is great. I love traditions. I mean, cultural ones.”

In contrast to his sensible demeanor, Bloom is abnormally good-looking. And it’s often hard to bear in mind how young he is—how much work and fame he has gathered up in a scant four years. He is routinely on all the lists: People’s Most Beautiful, the Internet’s Most Downloaded, you name it. But some fairly grim experience has made him play against type in real life. Laconically staring out over the fronds and high hibiscus of the Chateau and eating unripe blueberries, he doesn’t hint at being aware of his Old Hollywood appeal—and he certainly doesn’t come off as ethereal.

There’s nothing otherworldly about the inside of the house, either. It’s a mess, scattered with health food, research, and mementos, much of which is still in boxes, since Bloom has been living here a month during one of his downtimes with Kate Bosworth. In the bedroom is residue from old work: There’s a DVD about the Crusades, ancient homework for Ridley Scott’s Kingdom of Heaven. Bloom grins and admits that while it’s ideal to read entire books, DVDs have the appeal of being condensed and visual. “Knowledge is power,” he says—“but having too much can actually get in the way. You simply want to know what world you’re in, and immerse yourself.” He’s taken time to hang a Cool Hand Luke poster, since he reveres Paul Newman. The kitchen is an aftermath of some kind of organic-food explosion. Everywhere you turn, there are protein shakes, containers of carrot and mango juice, oranges, tomatoes, and Lord-knows-what made out of tofu.

“I haven’t gone back to being vegetarian,” Bloom says, surveying the chaos. “I’ve gone back to the process of seeing what foods give me energy. When you’re working and you’re required to switch it on, you need to know what fuels you.”
Even Sidi, the wild black dog, has a prized possession or two in the wilderness of boxes and CDs and photos. Cameron Crowe has awarded the pup with a small framed Elizabethtown poster and signed it, “Try to eat smaller portions.”

Walking out the door, one sees the least artful object in the house: a sign, in ?erce block lettering, that reads DO NOT LET THE DOG INSIDE! Sidi is explicitly banished from the house, given his taste for apocalypse. “When I’m not here, he really tears up the place,” Bloom says, as the lone crease in his forehead deepens slightly. “He can be pretty devastating.”

It was the same during the Elizabethtown shoots. Kirsten Dunst marveled at what a tearaway that dog could be, and says Orlando’s trailer had to be “Sidi-proofed.”

“They had to put a sheet of plastic on the ?oor!” she says, laughing. “That dog just doesn’t care. And Orlando’s way of unstressing between takes is to jump around like a 5-year-old or ride on a pint-size scooter, whereas I’m more self-critical. He was always playing with Sidi between takes, and Sidi is still in many ways a street dog.” Then again, in many ways, so is Orlando.

Elizabethtown is vintage Cameron Crowe: dead center in the crosshatch between comedy and drama. It opens with Bloom’s character experiencing a professional failure—more accurately, as his character narrates, a ?asco—of staggering proportions. A shoe he has designed for an Oregon-based company (clearly modeled after Nike) is such a disaster that it’s being recalled, losing the company $972 million, all of it Bloom’s fault. To magnify Bloom’s self-loathing, the head of the company (played to the hilt by Alec Baldwin) leads him on a daunting walk through the corporate complex, explaining the sheer magnitude of this disaster. At one point, the two gaze onto a vast, NASA-scale ecological laboratory; Baldwin’s character pauses and ruefully observes, “We could have saved the planet.” At another point, laughing out his grief, Baldwin remarks that he has read that Bloom’s shoe “may actually cause an entire generation to return to bare feet.”

Bloom’s character responds by creating an elaborate suicide machine and is on the brink of using it when he learns that his father has died: He must travel to Kentucky to retrieve the body. So begins a chain of events that, as is so often untrue in Hollywood movies, is impossible to predict. Crowe doesn’t deal in cinematic formulas. The ?lm is strangely both intimate and sprawling, hitting a lot of giant themes— fathers and sons, life and death, hope and regret—through small, subtle encounters.

It’s striking how easily Bloom ?ts into regular clothing and the twenty-?rst century after having spent most of his career in chain mail, on horseback, or shouting things like “The Ring must be destroyed!” No ?lm actor in memory has been so furiously attached to the epic and fantasy genres as Orlando Bloom. After making his debut as a rent boy in a 1997 ?lm about Oscar Wilde, he spent three years at the Guildhall School of Music & Drama—then, right out of the gate, landed the Legolas role in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Since then, he has rarely been seen without a sword or an arrow in reach: in Ridley Scott’s Kingdom of Heaven; in Wolfgang Petersen’s Troy; in the gritty Australian legend Ned Kelly; and, of course, in the still blossoming Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. (If he were a few years older, he’d have been in Braveheart. That’s a guarantee.) The only exception was a very small role in Black Hawk Down, in which his character breaks his back—but Bloom was cast partly because in real life he actually has broken his back.
Liam Neeson, who starred as Bloom’s father in the somewhat controversial Kingdom, is well attuned to the notion that an epic quality is not a card that every ?lm actor has in his deck. “Some actors suit period costumes,” Neeson says, “and others don’t. I always think of Errol Flynn. He looked uncomfortable in a suit—but put him in a ridiculous pair of tights, and he looked to the manor born! John Wayne playing Genghis Khan was quite the other thing. Clint Eastwood in a kilt would look ludicrous. I don’t know what it is. Orlando simply looks the part.”

From their experience in Kingdom, Neeson and Bloom know that this particular talent can double as a curse, for Ridley Scott is an especially meticulous director. “Even our underwear was period,” Neeson recalls, laughing. “It was the full bollocks, you know?”

And the epic quality is sufficiently rare that, once you’ve proved yourself in the genre, you are sought out again and again—another impulse well understood (and, for that matter, experienced) by Liam Neeson. “If I were Jack Warner, I’d get a team of writers, get ’em writing period pieces, and sign him,” Neeson says. “Orlando is like a classic ’40s movie star.”

None of this is to say that Neeson con?nes himself to speaking of Bloom’s costumes; he seems a little amazed by how sharply focused the man is, especially for a young actor. “When I was that age—Jesus!—it was the Dark Ages of my emotional growth,” Neeson says. “I knew ****-all about anythin’! Orlando is with it, but not in a hip way. He knows what it takes to make a ?lm, so he treats every department equally: the key grip, the gaffer, everyone. He’s right to. Without them, we’re nothing.”

The fact that Orlando Bloom is unusually grounded for a man of 28, sadly, has a lot to do with the actual ground. His career (and inextricably linked with that, his ability to take the long view) was entirely transformed by a potentially fatal fall he took in 1998. Late one night, messing around, he leapt onto a drainpipe while trying to get onto a roof terrace; the pipe gave way, and Bloom fell three stories, shattering his vertebrae. “Until then, I didn’t have a healthy appreciation for life and death—that we’re not invincible,” he says. “And for four days, I faced the idea of living in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. I went to some dark places in my mind. I realized, I’m either going to walk again or I’m not.
“The doctor said he wasn’t sure how severe the spinal-cord damage was,” he says, as an oddly unattractive look of distaste, even horror, crosses his features. “I remember him telling me that, and staring at the ceiling, thinking, I never stared at ceilings before! And I wonder if I’m going to be looking at ceilings for the rest of my life.

“But there’s something interesting,” he adds very quickly. “I knew I wouldn’t. I knew I wouldn’t, I knew…” He repeats the sentence ?ve times—quick like a stammer, as though he’s still trying to convince himself against hope that this will not be his fate.

The upshot of the accident was nothing short of miraculous. He was in the hospital only a few weeks and walked out on his own power. And the minute he escaped, still constrained by a back brace, he reverted to testing the limits of body and soul. When the time came to remove the titanium pins from his spine, to the doctors’ alarm, they were all fractured. They came out in shards. One of the pins had been driven too deep to remove, by dint of Orlando’s physical overexertion. “I’d been doing stuff right away,” he recalls, shaking his head. “I went straight back into it, man.”

The calming of Orlando Bloom, in the paradoxical underage dotage he now conveys, wasn’t instantaneous. “When I came out of the hospital, I started partying straight away—with the back brace on. It took me a couple of months to realize this was my life, and I didn’t want to mess it up.

“But that accident has informed everything in my life,” he says. “Until you’re close to losing it, you don’t realize. I used to ride motorbikes and drive cars like everything was a racetrack; it was ridiculous. It wasn’t because I thought it was cool; it was just because I loved living on the edge. But I’ve chilled.”

Cameron Crowe, too, sees all of this as key to Bloom’s swift maturation as an actor. “That broken back—that’s his Rosebud,” Crowe says. “It’s the key to him. He’s got pain going on in there. That’s why his silent mode is so interesting. Where other actors feel they have to constantly do something, Orlando doesn’t. Which is great. He’s a real guy with real stuff. Under that puppy-dog energy, there’s darkness.”

Perhaps it was Bloom’s upbringing that made him capable of eventually slowing off of the racetrack. Growing up in Canterbury, and beyond that, the county Kent, exposes you to one of the world’s cradles of sanity—a meadowed realm of constancy—even though some of its denizens look wild when viewed from afar.
“My generation in England was exposed to a huge antidrug campaign,” Bloom recalls. “I was one of the kids in school saying, ‘That ****’s not good.’ I’ve still gotten kicks; don’t get me wrong.”

At this point in the conversation, without a single word of transition, Bloom moves from the romance of drugs to the intoxication of women. “I remember asking my biology teacher, ‘How is HIV and AIDS gonna come to an end?’ ” he says, still popping the sour blueberries. “And the guy said, ‘When people stop having sex.’ I replied, ‘Dude, that’s harsh. That ain’t gonna happen anytime soon.’ I had plenty of vices growing up. But when you’re 21, you wake up and realize that your body is not something you want to **** with.”

To this end, Bloom has even surrendered caffeine—which, for many Englishmen, would be as bitter a defeat as Gallipoli or Yorktown. “I was doing night shoots for Elizabethtown,” he says, “and drinking green tea, which has caffeine. Not an awful lot. Just enough to get me through the shoot. By the end of the night, my back was killing me. It dehydrates your spine. And my back—that’s still my alarm. That’s my canary in the mine shaft.”

Bloom talks endlessly about how lucky he is; after seven years, the worst of his many reckless accidents hasn’t faded from memory. “When you experience the sort of physical pain I went through, you realize you’re not a god,” he says—“that there are limits to what you can do. It keeps you real. I mean, I can walk. I can enjoy a swim in the ocean and a beautiful day. And I was very close to not having that.

“I’m trying now to maintain a sense of balance. I was very extreme in my youth—everything in extremes, man! I’m at a very interesting time right now: a lot of change, growth…a lot of pennies dropping. I’ve a lot to be grateful for.”

This is all odd talk from an actor who, since that accident and many others, has buckled so much swash in the movies. (To say nothing of the fact that, for The Lord of the Rings, he spent vast amounts of time in New Zealand, the adrenaline-sport capital of the world, resisting most of those temptations.) Yet when it comes to doing stunts, he doesn’t hesitate. “I have one of those doctors who tell me, ‘Go for it, man!’ ” he says. “Does he encourage me? No. But I’ve tried to put myself in a physical condition where I’m able to do that stuff.”

“And, of course, for sex,” I toss out, just to lighten things up.
“Yeah, all those mercy lays I got,” he says, mock-wistfully. “Because I was the kid with the broken back!”

“Oh—you need mercy ****s,” I repeat, nearly spitting up my tea. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in my life. You probably had to beg for it.”

Bloom won’t let go of the joke: “I was the kid with the broken back!”

By all evidence, Orlando Bloom has chilled. But the adrenaline chip in his brain is still switched on. He seems to have transferred its capacity from bone-breaking feats to potentially soul-crushing risks on a more emotional plane. “I like to feel alive, man,” he says. “Part of it is danger, part of it is love. Although I’m trying not to have those two realms cross too much. I’ve had a few dangerous women. My cousin once told me, ‘You’re tall, you’re handsome—and you’re gonna have to apologize for it the rest of your life.’ He imparted that information to me.”

“So…you’re still looking for mercy ****s.”

“That’s right!” he says, clinging to modesty with both hands. “I still am. Exactly!”

If, as he claims, Bloom is a bit accident-prone, he is among the most graceful clods ever born. He moves slowly but always seems to be out ahead of you; he gestures rarely, but when he does, every joint of every ?nger seems to be underscoring a different, subtle part of his idea.

Despite all the old injuries (broken bones all over his body—here from a motorbike spill, there from something strange that happened with a rope), his athletic prowess is not lost on those with whom he’s worked. Liam Neeson marveled at Bloom’s ?ght scenes in Kingdom of Heaven. “Some actors are utterly lost if you put a sword in their hands,” he says. “Orlando is all physical grace—and there’s Errol Flynn again!”

Cameron Crowe, for his part, actually directed Bloom in the only television ad Crowe has ever shot, a quasi parody of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, shot in black and white, for Gap clothing. All we saw was Orlando Bloom and Kate Beckinsale running through shadowy streets. “He has this Hard Day’s Night physicality,” Crowe says. “Watching what we’d shot in the Gap commercial, there was Kate Beckinsale—who’s hot!—and we couldn’t stop looking at him. He’s exploding with life.”

The whole blend of modesty and the movie-star looks can only have contributed to Orlando Bloom’s celebrity. In an average week, even with no ?lm release in sight, he’s in a hundred articles worldwide—the more so when anything kindles (or is stanched) with the dazzling Kate Bosworth.

That said, he’s not entirely allergic to Hollywood tricks. For instance, when celebrities stay at hotels, as most people know, they check in under false names, like Fred Flintstone or Jay Gatsby. Billy Bob Thornton, for instance, sometimes uses the name of a certain writer. For her part, Kirsten Dunst uses a musical reference.
“I’m not exactly sure what name Orlando goes by,” Dunst says, “but I bet it’s something sexual. He’s very ?irty. And that’s easy to understand. You should have seen them in Kentucky: Girls lined up holding signs with his name on them. He was very gracious.”

Typically, Bloom regards most attention as a ?eeting thing. And he’s not interested in spending precious time on ?eeting things. Especially tabloid attention.

“That stuff is not a part of my daily life,” he says. “Most of it is bullshit. It even becomes hard to have a casual friendship, because suddenly you’re ‘linked to’ that person.… I guess there’s got to be a cost. You can’t live the spoils without having the ?ip side of that coin. So you learn to live with it.”

Curiously, Bloom is so famous in costume that until recently he was able to blend in when he moved around in public. Cameron Crowe recalls that when the cast of Elizabethtown was shooting and living in Kentucky, girls were lining the streets just to catch a glimpse of Orly Bloom. (Though no one except the tabloids actually calls him Orly.)

“He was incredibly famous, but no one really knew what he looked like,” Crowe says, still amazed. “In Lexington, there was a girls’ national soccer championship team in the hotel. These girls were actually walking the halls—they were roaming in packs—looking for him. I heard them saying things like, ‘He’s on the seventh ?oor!’ And he was standing right there. Right there. He just disappeared into the culture.”

That air of mystery is attractive to ?lm directors. Crowe recalls reading something Warren Beatty once said—that 75 percent of what people bring to a movie is their perception of the actor. “In that sense, it’s great to have a fresh guy to put in the center of a movie,” Crowe says. “We don’t really know who he is. Orlando is a clean slate. Since Tom Cruise in Risky Business, very few guys that age have been able to do a comedy or drama and be that interesting to look at—and to really hold the center of a movie.”

These days, Bloom’s mother more than compensates for his aversion to his tabloid press. (And of course, when it comes to propriety and accuracy, British tabloids make their American cousins look like Huxley’s Illustrated History of Gardening.) She clips it all, keeps track of his status as “the most downloaded human on earth,” and shuffles through the bags of fan letters he receives. Bloom recoils. “I keep saying, ‘Mom, I don’t want to know,’ ” he says. “I don’t want to see whether I’m on some chart. There will be a time when I won’t be. That doesn’t mean I’m not grateful. But I keep telling her, ‘They keep building me up, so they’re going to tear me down!’

“I keep getting asked what it’s like to be a heartthrob,” he adds, much amused by the unspoken joke: Tempus fugit. “There’s that next kid, believe me, who’s right there on my tail—and if he’s not right now, he’s gonna be!”
Bloom is convincing when he says things like this: offhand remarks a modest person would say so as not to seem like a preening, self-absorbed *** in a magazine article. And when he says he has too much self-doubt to believe the hype, there’s not a trace of posturing. A casting agent once told him that a little self-doubt will get you a long way: It makes you work harder, keeps you sharp. “If you think you can do it all,” Bloom says, suddenly showing some heat, “you’re just gonna sit back. Whereas I’m constantly working at it: doing more sword training for Pirates, getting coached on dialect to make sure it’s as good as it can be for Elizabethtown. I’m always working, because the one time I don’t, I guarantee, is when I’ll end up saying ‘D’oh!’ ”

He looks at his enormous wristwatch somewhat worriedly, for he actually has a dialect session in an hour or so, and more than once he has registered that it’s a real concern for him. (It was also the sole doubt Cameron Crowe had in casting him, though that one doubt was quickly put to rest, Crowe says.)

“Look, I just want to stay normal,” Bloom says, very normally. “That’s the biggest challenge: being able to sit in a café and watch the world go by.”

Granted, wide is the road to temptation and—at least until that next kid catches Orlando J. B. C. Bloom—his world is a sea of temptations. But he prides himself on learning lessons, even other people’s life lessons. “My dad once told me that one of his dreams was coming to Los Angeles, getting a Mustang, and driving it down Sunset Boulevard,” he says, beaming at the memory. “One day, it came true. And he got pulled over by the police. Know why they stopped him? Know why? He was driving too slowly! That’s a great story for me. He was soaking up the environment and he got done! ‘Sir, you got done!’ ”

In more than one sense, Bloom isn’t ?nished. Even at the outset of his career, he’s ever ?ickering with a Buddhist tendency here or there. He chokes at the fact that he’s in an industry where it’s a virtue to label its products (including actors). Yet he has no idea what his label should read. “I’m still trying to formulate the idea of who I am—and part of the problem of having these ideas and images projected on you is that it’s hard enough really ?guring that **** out!”

Even in the Shangri-la con?nes of Bloom’s temporary home, time does not stop, and the hour is running late. At a dialogue coach’s office across town, there’s a new identity to burnish: some “R” sounds to harden, a few “A” sounds to ?atten out. Orlando Bloom shakes his head and eats one last bad blueberry. “There’s only a story in success so far,” he says, refusing to descend from the philosophical level before he ?ees the hotel out his private exit. “That’s why Cameron made a movie about failure—about ?asco. Because we all meet in the dirt. That’s where we meet.”
Marshall Sella wrote last month about Cameron Diaz.

The death of a blog

2005-10-19T21:43:00.000-04:00

I dunno how many of the readers here frequent my Obsessions blog, but I thought I would let everyone know that I am killing that particular blog. See, the purpose for it was for info on my obsessions, stars, TV shows, anime, etc., but at this point I don't see a reason for having a separate blog for these things & am simply combining the two blogs into this one... No biggie....

So if there's anything there you wanted, best to get it. I will eventually get round to deleting the account....

Wizard News: Harry Potter gets ready to cast a spell on doll collectors

2005-10-19T21:37:00.000-04:00

Hurley, NY (PRWEB) October 17, 2005 -- Just in time for the launch of Warner Bros. Pictures' upcoming feature film Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, due in U.S. theaters November 18, 2005, the Tonner Doll Company, Inc., internationally-recognized for its life-like and truly authentic, high-end collector dolls, is primed to cast its own spell on collectors worldwide with the release of its Harry Potter Collector Dolls, featuring the much-loved characters of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"I wanted to bring something magical and a little mysterious to these dolls," notes Robert Tonner, CEO and head designer of the award-winning Tonner Doll Company. "Knowing the joy these characters have brought to so many all over the world was an inspiration. By creating the dolls in limited editions, fans will know they’ve acquired something truly unique and special."

The Harry Potter doll, the first in the series, is truly amazing. Each and every nuance and detail is captured, right down to Harry Potter's infamous lightning-shaped scar, inflicted by Lord Voldemort.

"I felt that fans would want Harry Potter to look as true to the character in the movie as possible," said Tonner. "The prototype took months to perfect - it was definitely a labor of love. I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out, and I think true Harry Potter fans will share my excitement."

At 17" tall, the doll features remarkably engineered jointing with 14 points of articulation, offering the collector unlimited posing and play possibilities. Crafted of hard plastic and high-quality vinyl, with hand-painted face detail, this is a doll to be played with and enjoyed. The costuming, taken directly from movie reference, reflects Tonner’s attention to detail and use of high-quality fabrics. From the sweater Harry Potter wears at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, to his flowing school robe, the authenticity is near perfect and makes this a true collector doll in every sense of the word.

The full article and a photo of the Harry At the Yule Ball doll can be found here.

I didn't know bananas had issues too.....

2005-05-05T04:15:00.000-04:00

BANANAcrazy. Enough said.

Fucked up, any?
brought to you by Quizilla

Rant! Whine! Squee!

2005-05-04T01:56:00.000-04:00

WTF were they thinking!??!??!?! How the hell did they vote off Constantine when Carrie the Karoake Barbie is still there (as well as Scott aka the Turd that just won't flush) >_<. Ok, so his Nickelback wasn't that great, but that had to be the only bad performance he's ever done. He's Constantine!!! He's super-sexy-hottie-Greek-rocker-sex-on-a-stik guy.... He does things that make you fantasize about being a microphone!!!!!

ANYWAY

Watched AI tonite (coz you fuckers got me addicted to it now- and you know who you are!) and they were just super-fab... Now, Anthony's 1st song didn't do much for me, but the Backstreet Boys woulda shit themselves to hear how much better his version of "Incomplete" was... They're probably crying somewhere bcoz you know at least the gay one was watching. Vonzel was great! Man that girl blew me away... I may not throw things at the TV if at least Vonz could win... Bo was just..... guh.... *THUD*

And then there was Carrie.. now, I almost didn't completely hate her 1st song... but who told that useless twit she could sing "Bless the Broken Road"?!?!??!??!! I changed the channel bcoz the mute button was arguing... Wretched. Horrendous. Rascal Flatts should sue her sorry ass for slander!

Then there was House. (Yes I watched it damn you! Just shut up.) I still hate the bitchy boss in her behold-my-cleavage shirts ("fun bags" I think House called them- LMAO)... Sorry to see they're really working this Cameron loves House thing... but whatever... It was a good show & House is great... especially watching him outsmart & outthink Cutty...

Screen God

2005-04-28T17:56:00.000-04:00

My friends have expressed concern that Kingdom of Heaven (which I'm hoping to watch just for Orlando Bloom's hotness ^_^) will be a booster flick for the Christian faith vs. the Muslims & portray the destruction of the Muslim faith as right... This concern comes from the trailers we've seen thus far for the movie. If this article is a good review of the movie, it may be worth seeing for more than the eye candy.

Ridley Scott's dazzling epic of the Crusades has attracted flak from historians and Islamic scholars, but will its combination of spiritual devotion and gore draw audiences into the fold?

Peter Stanford
Sunday April 24, 2005
The Observer

Religion and mainstream cinema tend not to mix, unless it's one debunking the other. And that's usually one-way traffic - Life of Brian, Dogma, The Pope Must Die, Amen. But then two things happened to change the relationship.

First, 9/11 focused attention as never before on the hostility between some parts of Islam and the West. Religion overnight became a matter not for a dwindling bunch of sad souls who needed to get out more, but a terrifying force reshaping our planet.

Then Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ broke box office records around the globe, despite being cold-shouldered as an uneconomic vanity project by the Hollywood studios on the grounds of its heavy Catholic content. They had assumed religion only sold if you were laughing at it and were proved spectacularly wrong.

Both events form the backdrop to Ridley Scott's controversial release, Kingdom of Heaven. The £75 million epic from Oscar-nominated Scott takes as its subject the Crusades, the 200-year collision between Europe and the East, Christianity and Islam, over the fate of the Holy Land.

Set in 1185, it follows Balian (Orlando Bloom looking at his most Christ-like), a blacksmith in rural France, who is claimed as his illegitimate son by a Crusader knight, Godfrey of Ibelin (Liam Neeson) and taken to Jerusalem. Balian has lost his faith after the suicide of his wife, but slowly regains it at the court of saintly Baldwin IV (Edward Norton), the King of Jerusalem, who practises and preaches tolerance between Christians and Muslims. However, zealots on both sides destroy Baldwin's 'kingdom of heaven' and when his power-hungry son-in-law Guy de Lusignan (Marton Csokas) succeeds him, the scene is set for a confrontation with the Saracen General Saladin (Ghassan Massound) which leads to Balian's heroic leadership of the siege of Jerusalem.

Kingdom of Heaven is, however, no run-of-the-mill variation on the popular theme of the historical thriller - all battle scenes, manly knees and banquets. Instead, Scott has directed a complex modern morality play, its dialogue dominated by high-minded talk of God, redemption, sin and punishment.

In a post-9/11 world, with British and American troops still in Iraq, the subject matter is inevitably sensitive. The film has already generated headlines. In the New York Times last autumn a series of Islamic scholars lined up to denounce Kingdom of Heaven as 'anti-Islamic', pandering to stereotypes and likely to offend Muslims.

Meanwhile, Professor Jonathan Riley-Smith, a Cambridge academic and expert on the Crusades, has labelled it 'Osama bin Laden's version of history'. He questioned its historical accuracy, saying its basis lies in the romantic thrillers of Walter Scott, though screenwriter William Monahan has the support of academic experts in pointing to real-life figures and events as the basis for the major characters and events in the film.

What is true, however, is that the film gives religion - both Christian and Muslim, in their purest, most tolerant forms - the best and most respectful press it has got since The Song of Bernadette. And it manages, moreover, to tell its story without the usually de rigueur dollop of on-screen eroticism. The most you glimpse is the delicate shoulder of Baldwin's sister, Princess Sibylla (Eva Green) as she falls for Balian.

Such restraint is no accident. Scott is attempting to lure back to the big screen the hitherto non-cinema-going audiences from God-fearing middle America who turned out in such impressive numbers to watch Gibson's chaste epic. They need have no fears of being corrupted by sexual depravity in Kingdom of Heaven and may feel uplifted by the depth of its search for the hand of God at work. An essential part of the Gibson package was its gore with every physical indignity Jesus suffered on his Via Crucis recreated in extraordinary and lingering detail. Christian audiences, the zealous Australian actor-cum-director had realised, have no problem with blood and guts - it's just sex they're saving till they're married. Kingdom of Heaven is also not for the squeamish as heads are chopped off, guts torn out and the severed head of arch-Crusader, Reynald de Chatillon (Brendan Gleeson) displayed on a pole - a historical inaccuracy, according to one expert.

Yet it is less Kingdom of Heaven's very specific sexual restraint than its occasionally laboured parallels between the 1180s and the post-9/11 world that will probably be most debated by audiences. Five years ago there would have been no question that the Saracens should be portrayed as baddies, all treachery and turbans. Yet Saladin is shown as dedicated to peace and understanding between the great religious faiths as Bloom's Balian and his protector and patron, Baldwin. Saladin is even gracious in his final victory and pauses to right a fallen crucifix as he enters Jerusalem. Dramatic licence, arguably, but it has led to accusations that Scott is too indulgent of the Muslim side. He may just, of course, have felt the need to redress the balance after centuries of remorseless anti-Saracen bias in most Western accounts.

The film chooses unambiguously to place the blame for the Crusader-Saracen conflict, which causes the eventual downfall of Baldwin's kingdom, squarely at the door of fundamentalists in both camps, but overall it is the Christian fundamentalists who come off worst of all. At a time when the Catholic church has just elected as its leader a cardinal who has previously described other faiths as 'gravely deficient', Kingdom of Heaven presents a deeply unappealing picture of all those who feel their religious belief is superior to any other. Lusignan, the new king of Jerusalem, is egged on to battle by the Knights Templar, brandishing their crosses and talking of 'killing a Muslim to get to heaven'.

Balian hammers home the point about the supremacy of religious tolerance when he hands over the Holy City to Saladin. God, he tells his followers, is in your head and your heart, not in any particular place.

It is in its loud and repeated plea for religious tolerance and understanding rather than its precise historical accuracy that Kingdom of Heaven risks most. Evangelical Christians went to see The Passion of the Christ because it buttressed their own faith position. They may not welcome being told that Jesus, Mohammed and Jehovah are all much of a muchness.

And, in a broader political context, the careful, even-handed, pacific approach of Baldwin and Balian to reconciling East and West stands in stark, and no doubt intentional, counterpoint to the efforts of George W. Bush on his own self-avowed 'crusade' in today's Middle East.

But Scott's central theme is one of faith lost and reborn in Balian. Though it is not a new one for him - Maximus in Gladiator went through the same process - in Kingdom of Heaven he invokes religion more pointedly. Even though he does so with great respect for the principle, if not the institutions, that may not be enough to save him from criticism, as other directors such as Pasolini (The Gospel According to St Matthew), Godard (Hail Mary) and Scorsese (The Last Temptation of Christ) can readily testify. For if cinema traditionally looks on religion as a suitable target, then many believers have come, despite Gibson's efforts, to regard film as a secular, godless medium that is not for them.

Wizard News: Update: New Pope on record as critical of Harry Potter

2005-04-26T05:09:00.000-04:00

Wizard News: Update: New Pope on record as critical of Harry Potter: "Update: New Pope on record as critical of Harry Potter

by David Haber, Wizard News Editor

According to the Contact Music web site, new Pope Benedict XVI has criticized J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter books for 'undermining the soul of Christianity'.

This claim apparently stems from a statement the Pope made more than two years ago when he was still Cardinal Ratzinger. He was praising Gabriele Kuby, author of the book 'Harry Potter - Good Or Bad', for revealing the hidden agendas behind the world's most popular children's books.

The then Cardinal Ratzinger is quoted as having said, 'It is good that you explain the facts of Harry Potter, because this is a subtle seduction, which has deeply unnoticed and direct effects in undermining the soul of Christianity before it can really grow properly.'

"

2005-04-19T21:26:00.000-04:00

OMG!! *SQUEE* Finally got to watch the American Idol performances & not just the results show for once! *thud* How amazing was Constantine?!?!? Sex on a stik!! Anwar was great doing "September", but that performance leaves no doubt this boy is soo way gay! He was fab, tho, just like a one-man party all over the stage- love it! God, Anthony... could that song have BEEN more perfect for him.. and just watching him shake his li'l booty all over the stage... *dies* FOR THE LOVE OF GODDDD!! BO! OMG! "Vehicle" has never been so sexy... *passes out thinking about AI boys* Really, everybody was great.. except maybe Carrie. What look was she going for exactly?!!?! That hair was so 80s... poor Oklahoma girl, it's not her fauly.. I don't imagine they get alotta 70s dance exposure in OK..

2005-04-19T21:20:00.000-04:00

More Anwar!! Yummy!!

Birthday Spam!!

2005-04-18T02:45:00.000-04:00

Posted birthday spams for Sean Bean & Watari (from Yami no Matsuei) on Obsessions! I love my Picasa & my Hello!!

SQUASH

2005-04-06T14:42:00.000-04:00

It figures. I finally get up the courage to make the biggest move of my life (even if for most people it's not that far) and it falls out from under me. They just got Mike's taxes figured up & it turns out he owes over $300... plus like 300 from last year that they may start garnishing his wages for... I don't understand everything perfectly, but I get the general idea. All their spare money is gonna go to paying his fucking debt to the IRS off & there's no chance of moving in any time soon.. Plus, apparently, they couldn't find any decent houses for us to all rent anyway that weren't in the ghetto. Fuck it. WHy did I think anything would work for me?!?!? Not like anything ever does... Fine. I'll start trying to save my & Brian's $$$ & we'll find some place here in town to move, then I'll find another job before I go postal at Fountainview & start picking off CNAs with the laundry cart.

Brian's napping right now. I just got the e from Dani trying to explain all of this.... I really don't wanna tell him. He was really looking forward to getting out of here, out of LP.. we both were... And he was so excited about living by Larry... Dammit. There goes my day.

The Beast

2005-04-02T22:12:00.000-05:00

You scored as The Beast. Your alter ego is The Beast! But that is only a name... you are kind hearted and sweet, people just misunderstand you.

The Beast

88%

Peter Pan

88%

Goofy

75%

Cruella De Ville

75%

Ariel

75%

Sleeping Beauty

75%

Donald Duck

69%

Cinderella

50%

Snow White

44%

Pinocchio

38%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com

Jeff Foxworthy's Take On Indiana

2005-04-01T18:04:00.000-05:00

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Indiana.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because it's the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Indiana.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Indiana.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Indiana.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Indiana.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Indiana.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Indiana.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Indiana.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Indiana.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE INDIANA RESIDENT WHEN:
1. "Vacation" means going east or west on I-74 (or I-70) for the weekend.

2. You measure distance in hours.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. (Or a deer hit them)

4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events- including weddings.

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both of them unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

13. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

14. Down South to you means Kentucky.

15. A brat is something you eat.

16. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

17. You go out to a tail gate party every Friday.

18. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

19. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

20. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

21. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Indiana friends.

I am a new soul...

2005-03-27T19:46:00.000-05:00

You Are a Newborn Soul

You are tolerant, accepting, and willing to give anyone a chance.
On the flip side, you're easy to read and easily influenced by others.
You have a fresh perspective on life, and you can be very creative.
Noconformist and nontraditional, you've never met anyone who's like you.

Inventive and artistic, you like to be a trendsetter.
You have an upbeat spirit and you like almost everything.
You make friends easily and often have long standing friendships.
Implusive and trusting, you fall in love a little too easily.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I got the rest... but I'm not sure about the "tough" part...

2005-03-27T19:38:00.000-05:00

TABITHA
T	is for	Tough
A	is for	Articulate
B	is for	Brilliant
I	is for	Innocent
T	is for	Thoughtful
H	is for	Honest
A	is for	Amorous

What Does Your Name Mean?

Type A Personality

2005-03-27T19:36:00.000-05:00

You Have A Type A- Personality

A-

You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

splodges

2005-03-23T12:35:00.000-05:00

So one of the girls on my Postcard Fairies has this cute little blog called splodges where she puts up her sketches, paintings, poetry & thus.. It's spiff.

Major life-changing decisions...

2005-03-21T22:34:00.000-05:00

This is my scared face =_=

I've made a very significant decision today, and I'm hoping it's the right one.. for me.. and Brian. My two (and only remaining) friends have been talking at me for years now to move to Mishawaka where they live &, specifically, trying to get me to move in with them. Well, they brought it up today at just the right moment.. and I agreed. We talked excitedly and made plans for what kinda house & all the things we can do... then they hadda go back home & they dropped me off at my mother's. No, of course I didn't tell her my plans.. are you mental ?!?!? O_o She'd have kittens! See, all afternoon now I've been stressing (had an awful night at "family night" anyhow, but that's norm anymore) about the decision... Was I right? Should I have thought about it? Will our houses really work well together in one house? Why am I stressing?!?!??!

See, we've all co-habitated twice before at an apt. I used to have.. and both times it ended badly. But we were all also very dif't people at the time & I had a bf at the time who wasn't who I thought he was & didn't really get along with them... but Brian's here now & he likes them & they adore him so everything should be ok, right....? Plus, our friendships with each other are much closer than I think they were back then... But I'm still stressing out *wigs & runs around flailing arms wildly* I'm not positive what I'm afraid of... well, that's kind of a lie.. I'm kind of afraid of one person or another insisting on control of things.. things going badly.. horrible ruination of friendships for all of eternity... but really there's no reason to fear all that stuff... *believes she is being very Tohru-esque just now*

So, I guess I just need some manner of confirmation.. on this issue... some assurance that everything will turn out ok in the end.. all live happily ever after, etc.. What I can't get is why was I so sure this afternoon and now I'm worrying my fluffy li'l damn head off....

M0m's having a "psychic party" on Friday at her house.. maybe I'll scrape the $30 up & see if this lady has any advice.. maybe I'll just stop fucking worrying over what seemed like a great idea earlier.. I've always been a very spontaneous and instinctual person.. but lately I'm out-thinking and over-thinking and over-disecting everything.... This is part of where the suggestion came from. I've been very un-happy with myself lately - usually I'm a very happy, optimistic, upbeat person and recently I've become this irritated, pessimistic, sarcastic creature I don't really recognise & can't stand. And Yuki & Kyou thought it might really help me, and my chibi, if we moved away to a fresh atmosphere and me a new and better (happier) job. It just all sounded so simple & such the perfect solution this afternoon... happy little "nakama" commune artist home family fantastic thingy & it will be wonderfull... so why am I suddenly freakin' out?

That's right.. because I'm Tohru. I think I'll go make rice balls.

Slaving away at "The Embracing"

2005-03-15T14:27:00.000-05:00

... which would be the name of the novel I'm writing, for those who dunno. I've started this book at least three other times & everytime I had a great start then it went dead. When I started it this last time again (thanks to encouragement from Tal x Thorn *bows*) I started into a new part of it & realised it was the same story I'd been writing before.. the other 2 I'd begun with got stuck because they were different parts of the same story *DOH!* So, I've been working it at a couple weeks now & have ripped the pages out & started from another direction at least 4 times ;_; but I think I've got the right starting point now.. unfortunately I'm stuck at this one spot & I've been here for a few days now... it's making me nuts..... ack!!

Bad, Bad blogger....

2005-02-19T19:54:00.000-05:00

Methinks my bloggy is publishing me for being neglectful.. It's been ever-so-long since I posted anything, but it's nothing personal... I haven't been doing much of anything... I haven't worked on anything, I've taken hiatus from webmistressing, I hate everyone on my messenger, I want to set fire to all my art projects.. I have no inspiration. My body & mind are filled with illness. I am un-well.

On top of my already marvelous mood (*ack*) I found out yesterday, as soon as I got to work, that Amber is dead. Amber who was the other night girl (not really a girl, one supposes.. she was 51.. I had no idea she was that old!). Sherri got worried when she never showed up for work on Thursday night, which is much un-like Amber. So she went to her apt. but no answer. She got a hold of Peggy (friend & co-worker who also lives near Amber). Peggy called Maintenance men who went into the apt. & when Sherri tried to get hold of things again, she found out the ambulance & police were there. Couple detectives came by work later to tell Sherri & Joe (prick boss) that Amber had died. She's been dead since Monday night.. and nobody noticed. Nobody had wondered where she was.. No one had come to see her... What a sad little life...... and her "family" isn't even giving her a decent memorial. Just a simple graveside service (translation- they don't care & don't think anyone else does either enough to bother having a memorial). Fuckers.

I loathe.

2005-02-19T19:39:00.000-05:00

Saiyuki Psychoanalysis by WildeLamassu
Username
Is a cigar just a cigar?
Tell me about your mother.
Your Id	Lirin
Your Ego	Gojyo's One-Night Stand
Your Superego	Kougaiji
Your Oral Fixation	Yaone
Your Talking Cure	Hakuryuu
Your Dream Symbol (Snake)	Kanzeon
Your Psychiatrist	Gyuumaou
Number of Sessions	58
You Now Owe	$850,784

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Is the week over yet?! T_T

2005-01-21T23:56:00.000-05:00

We got yet another boss at work... this one is Joe... yes, we already had one Joe, but this one isn't nearly as uptight.... He's kind of a cross between Shane & Justin, which isn't so much a good thing... Now, I was getting along with this Joe fairly well.. I was even half-suspecting he was flirting with me... then he heard me talking to Chris about my interviewing for the Activities Assistant job - which would be nice b/c it's still at the same facility, more hours, full time with benefits & all at $8/hour... so, Joe hears me mentioning this to Chris & he starts acting ????s & the last couple days he's just been a little prick, making me wanna stick a fork between his eyes.... >_<

And we got these new chemicals at work.. they feed directly into the water system for the washing machines.... the stuff is made of oxygen... but the smell it gives off... it doesn't really smell bad, but the scent is so strong I had a headache all day long at work today.. and I can hardly stand to sort the barrels coz the whole room smells so strong... and the clothes coming outta the washers just choke me... my throat is still killing me & I got off work at 3:30 this afternoon....

I need to go to bed & maybe it'll be better tomorrow... wait, I work with Anna this weekend. O.o Nevermind, then... no hope of it getting any better.......

Not in Our Name

2005-01-13T20:37:00.000-05:00

"No election, whether fair or fraudulent, can legitimize criminal wars on foreign countries,

torture, the wholesale violation of human rights, and the end of science and reason."

Over the next week, the Not In Our Name statement will carry out an audacious project to puncture

the whole shameful celebration of war, greed, and intolerance that will surround the second

inauguration of the Bush regime.

Our aim is to publish across the nation a NEW statement of conscience (text below), signed by this

nation's recognized voices of conscience. Bush does not speak for us. He does not represent us. He

does not act in our name. And the whole world needs to hear that.

We want this statement to ring throughout all forms of media, and reach every part of the country.

In this country, free speech is very expensive. But think what a difference it will make if tens

of thousands of us contribute, and a few who are able contribute tens of thousands.

We have but four days left to raise the necessary funds. If you would like to see this statement

in the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, San Francisco Chronicle and many others

large and small, then you need to go to Not In Our Name statement web site at www.nion.us, sign this

statement, and make your on-line contribution.

Together we can make this happen!

* * *

Not In Our Name

George W. Bush is about to be inaugurated for a second term as President of the United States. Let

it not be said that the people in the United States silently acquiesced in the face of this

shameful coronation of war, greed, and intolerance. He does not speak for us. He does not represent us.

He does not act in our name.

No election, whether fair or fraudulent, can legitimize criminal wars on foreign countries,

torture, the wholesale violation of human rights, and the end of science and reason.

In our name, the Bush government claims to justify the invasion and occupation of Iraq on baldly

false pretenses, raining down unspeakable destruction, horror, misery and death to as many as

100,000 people. It destroys entire cities in the name of so-called democratic elections, while

intimidating and disenfranchising tens of thousands of African-American voters at home. It holds an entire

nation hostage, forcing on its people torture, hunger, and unimaginable privation and humiliation.

In our name, it holds in contempt both international law and world opinion. It has carried out

torture and detentions without trial all over the world and proposes new assaults on our rights of

privacy, speech and assembly. It has already stripped the rights of Arabs, Muslims and South Asians

in the US, denying them legal counsel, holding them without cause, stigmatizing, and deporting

tens of thousands.

Could we have imagined a few years ago that core principles such as the separation of church and

state, due process, presumption of innocence, freedom of speech, and habeas corpus would be

discarded so easily? But under this government anyone can be declared an "enemy combatant" by

Presidential decree with no meaningful redress or independent review, by a President whose rationale for

concentrating power in the executive branch is "trust me." Its choice for Attorney General is the

legal architect of torture from Guantanamo to Afghanistan to Abu Ghraib.

As terrifying "trial balloons" are floated about invasions of Syria, or Iran, or North Korea,

about leaving the United Nations, about new "lifetime detention" policies, there is no telling what

further crimes this government will commit in our name against nations or individuals deemed to

stand in the way of its goal of unquestioned world supremacy.

The Bush government seeks to impose a narrow, intolerant, and political form of Christian

Fundamentalism as government policy. We must face the fact that this extremist movement is no longer on

the margins of society. It aims to strip women of their reproductive rights, to drive gay people

from public life back into the closet. It seeks to drive a wedge between spiritual experience and

scientific truth, smugly denying thousands of years of human scientific achievement.

We believe all people must be free to find meaning and sustenance in whatever form of religious or

spiritual belief they choose. But we will not surrender our right to think to extremists and the

President in whom they have their strongest ally. The Grand Canyon was not created by a biblical

flood. Women are not human incubators. Breast cancer is not retribution for having an abortion. AIDS

is not a punishment from God. Evolution happened. Religion can never be compulsory. This

government may claim to make its own reality, but we will not allow it to make ours.

Millions of us worked, talked, marched, poll watched, contributed, voted, did everything we could

to defeat the Bush regime in the last election. It was a massive effort, bringing forth new

energy, new organization, and new commitment to struggle for justice. It would be a terrible mistake to

let our failure to stop Bush in this way lead to despair and inaction. On the contrary, this broad

mobilization of people committed to a fairer world, a freer world, a more peaceful world must move

forward. We cannot, we will not, wait until 2008. The fight against the second Bush regime has to

start now.

The movement against the war in Vietnam never won a presidential election. But it blocked troop

trains, closed induction centers, marched, spoke to people door to door -- and it helped to stop a

war. The Civil Rights Movement never tied its star to a presidential candidate; it sat in, freedom

rode, fought legal battles, filled jailhouses -- and it changed the face of a nation.

We must change the political reality of this country by mobilizing the tens of millions who know

in their heads and hearts that the Bush regime's "reality" is nothing but a nightmare for humanity.

This will require courage and creativity, mass actions and individual moments of courage. We must

come together whenever we can, and we must act alone whenever we have to. This will require

extraordinary acts from ordinary people.

We give our love and support to the soldiers who have refused to fight in this immoral war, and we

pledge to create community that backs courageous acts of resistance. We applaud the librarians who

have refused to turn over lists of our reading, the high school students who demand to be taught

evolution, those who brought to light torture by the U.S. military, and the massive protests that

voiced international opposition to the war on Iraq. We stand with the tens of millions of people

throughout the world who fight every day for the right to create their own future.

It is our duty to stop the Bush regime from carrying out this disastrous course. We believe

history will judge us sharply should we fail to act decisively.

Among the initial signers are:

Janet Abu-Lughod, professor emerita, New School

Michael Albert

Edward Asner

Michael Avery, president, National Lawyers Guild

Rosalyn Baxandall, chair, American Studies/Media and Communications, State University of New York

at Old Westbury

William Blum, author, US foreign policy

Judith Butler, author and professor, University of California at Berkeley

Daniel Ellsberg, former Defense and State Department official

Jorie Graham, Harvard University

Abdeen M. Jabara, past president, American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee

C. Clark Kissinger, Refuse & Resist!

Staughton Lynd

Reynaldo F. Mac¡as, chair, National Association for Chicana & Chicano Studies

Robin Morgan, author and activist

Jill Nelson, writer

Rosalind Petchesky, Distinguished Professor of Political Science, Hunter College & the Graduate

Center - CUNY

Jeremy Pikser, screenwriter (Bulworth)

Michael Ratner, president, Center for Constitutional Rights

Matthew Rothschild, editor, The Progressive magazine

Luc Sante, writer

Naomi Wallace

Howard Zinn, historian

* * *

You may sign this statement at http://www.nion.us/READ_AND_SIGN.htm. You may also e-mail your

name, how you would like to be identified and your state of residence to sign@nion.us. (Personal

contact information will not be shared or utilized for any other purpose.)

Movie Review: Phantom of the Opera

2004-12-30T10:55:00.000-05:00

OMG! It was positively riveting... This was a strange & wonderfull experience for me because I had to watch a taped version of the play in choir (which I believe not was not the ALW version- wHat WaS tHaT TeaChER tHiNKinG?!?!?!?) & I really didn't care for it at all, so for all these years the magic of the Phantom has been lost on me..... ;_; But I went West with my very dear friends yesterday to see it and was completely struck by it.... before we watched the movie we'd discussed catching a double feature since I so rarely get to the movies, but afterwards I had to say that would have been unfair to any other movie we may have seen... I don't know what could hold it's own against that...

Gerard Butler was seductive genius as the Phantom.. sexy, painful, tortured, beloved... enrapturing entirely... The girl who played Christine is someone I've never seen, as was the actor who played Raoul, but both were fantastic! The singing, the emotion, the pain.... many actresses cannot believably convince you of the tangle & confusion of a love like Christine has for these two men... but she was just splendid... Raoul was sweet & beautifull... I could listen to him sing all day.....

There are few movies with a love story like this where you aren't left believing the poor girl made the right or wrong choice between these two men she loved so deeply... but I cannot fault her for choosing Raoul, but I would have supported her for choosing the Phantom as well... 'Tis truly a tragic love story, as there is no way to be completely happy with either choice... this is a love that will haunt you all your life, no matter what you choose....

So long.....

2004-12-26T18:36:00.000-05:00

Gee, aren't I the naughty little non-blogger... shame on me... pity I don't have someone to encourage or inspire me... honestly, with the mood I've been in lately I wouldn't have had anything worth reading anyhow... so it's probly better I don't blog in those sorts of moods...

Proud of me, tho, for finishing a Harry/Ron Yule fanart I drew as a gift for Dani, my very dearest bestest ever friend.... since she kept complaining Harry/Ron fanarts were impossible to find.. now if I can just get her to scan it so I can share it with the webbyworld..... >_<

Sitting here eating Xmas cookies my momma made me & wishing I had a car or the weather wasn't so lousy so that my beloved friends could come visit... or I could go visit them... man, what a month we've had round herre.. Had the power & heat shut off by the minions of Satan (otherwise known as NIPSCO) & the van finally went too far (or wouldn't go anywhere) & we scrapped it... some dude is buying the hunk of crappola for parts.. whatever... so we didn't have a very good Xmas & nobody else had much money so it was a pretty cheapo & crappy Xmas all around.. the kids enjoyed what they got & that's what really matters, right? Right?!?!?!?

Well, actually, we did get the ROTK Extended version hot off the shelves from our fabo friends.. they also gave Brian a gorgeous 43"x31" wallscroll of the girls from Final Fantasy X2 & I got a very pretty poster of the Saiyuki boys (THEY FOUND ONE WITH HOMURA *drool*) which promptly evicted Orlando from the bedroom wall.. and they bought me Gavin DeGraw's CD, so I can listen to "I Don't Wanna Be" a dozen times a day... and I discovered another song of his "Follow Through" that I'd seen a couple times on VH1 & loved! but didn't know it was him who sang it, so now I have that too.... I guess Xmas wasn't a total loss.. my parents tried very hard & my sister bought me stuff which might make me cooler- that's her thing, that's what she does... but that's ok. I got to spend the holiday with Brian & my family & that's what really matters to me. I got to watch the kids jumpin around going insane over every thing they opened...

Thank god Xmas is over.

I'm beating myself about the head with a stick trying to finish one last gift. It's an art project (of sorts) that I'm working on for a friend & I've been having just the worst time with it.. I can't seem to dredge up the happy inspiration to work on it thru the heinous mood & sinking depressiong I've been fighting with lately..... If you're reading this, I swear I will finish it... it's coming.. really.........

Issues...

2004-12-19T23:11:00.000-05:00

whatever is the matter with me lately.. grant you, I've been thru a seriously lousy, scrappy bit of time & space the last month or so what with losing power & heat for a week then losing our van... now I hafta walk... see what I mean... all I seem to wanna do is be angry, irritated, spiteful & ranty. Frankly, I'm getting quite sick of myself... and I know it's taking a toll on Brian, bless him...

I just dunno what to do with myself, how to climb back outta my dark, chasmic bleak little cave of cranky....

am i the hero or the villain.. is it a history or fiction...

they tell us we're flying too high.. they'll have to get used too looking up..

am i a part of the cure or am i part of the disease

apparently i'm a loser..

dressed to kill

where is your boy tonight i hope he's a gentleman

the spamz.. they just keep coming..

google verb meme

birthday spammage is a go!

boycott love. detox just to retox..

this is my wtf face

What's The Best Thing About Being On The Street Team?

My Meez

Happy Birthday Joaquin Phoenix!! Picspam (NDUF)

Happy Bday Viggo Mortensen!

Happy Birthday Hugh Jackman!

Happy Birthday Hisoka!

Rant!

I'm in a really good place right now...

A 'Promise' in blood - Film

Death Note coming to Adult Swim

models & movies

American Idol (so way spoilers)

What Tree Did You Fall From?

Eragon [rant]

I refuse to be Spongebob!!! >_<

Checking for a pulse

Can I still suffer The OC??

Score 1 for me!

Happy Birthday Ed!!!!

Edward's birthday

Birthday Ed-ness!!

A very Ed-licious birthday!

Impending House ... and house re-decorating

Happy 29th Birthday to Jude Law!!

*THUD*

YUMMY! YUMMY!

Jude Law's 29th bday

Jude Law's 29th bday

Happy Birthday Tatsumi!!!

Tatsumi's Birthday

Congrats Elton & David!!!

The New Rules

Dommie bday spam

Dommie bday spam

Dommie bday spam

Dommie bday spam

Dommie bday spam

Happy Birthday Kazu-kun!!!

Muraki bday spam

Muraki bday spam

Muraki birthday spam

Movie Review: Goblet of Fire (so SPOILERS!)

Happy Birthday Genjo Sanzo!!

My Harry Potter love match is...

RENT review... and a little bit bitchy tonite...

A blog reborne!!

2 things (THE list)

Throwing pillows...

Happy Birthday Gojyo!!

Seven Deadly Sins & Virtues

Happy Birthday Peter Jackson!!

Happy 31st Birthday Joaquin Phoenix!!!

Viggo Mortensen Birthday Picspam

GQ (US) - November, 2005

The death of a blog

Wizard News: Harry Potter gets ready to cast a spell on doll collectors

I didn't know bananas had issues too.....

Rant! Whine! Squee!

Screen God

Wizard News: Update: New Pope on record as critical of Harry Potter

Birthday Spam!!

*SQUASH*

The Beast

Jeff Foxworthy's Take On Indiana

I am a new soul...

I got the rest... but I'm not sure about the "tough" part...

Type A Personality

splodges

Major life-changing decisions...

THUD

SQUASH