This is my scared face =_=
I've made a very significant decision today, and I'm hoping it's the right one.. for me.. and Brian. My two (and only remaining) friends have been talking at me for years now to move to Mishawaka where they live &, specifically, trying to get me to move in with them. Well, they brought it up today at just the right moment.. and I agreed. We talked excitedly and made plans for what kinda house & all the things we can do... then they hadda go back home & they dropped me off at my mother's. No, of course I didn't tell her my plans.. are you mental ?!?!? O_o She'd have kittens! See, all afternoon now I've been stressing (had an awful night at "family night" anyhow, but that's norm anymore) about the decision... Was I right? Should I have thought about it? Will our houses really work well together in one house? Why am I stressing?!?!??!
See, we've all co-habitated twice before at an apt. I used to have.. and both times it ended badly. But we were all also very dif't people at the time & I had a bf at the time who wasn't who I thought he was & didn't really get along with them... but Brian's here now & he likes them & they adore him so everything should be ok, right....? Plus, our friendships with each other are much closer than I think they were back then... But I'm still stressing out *wigs & runs around flailing arms wildly* I'm not positive what I'm afraid of... well, that's kind of a lie.. I'm kind of afraid of one person or another insisting on control of things.. things going badly.. horrible ruination of friendships for all of eternity... but really there's no reason to fear all that stuff... *believes she is being very Tohru-esque just now*
So, I guess I just need some manner of confirmation.. on this issue... some assurance that everything will turn out ok in the end.. all live happily ever after, etc.. What I can't get is why was I so sure this afternoon and now I'm worrying my fluffy li'l damn head off....
M0m's having a "psychic party" on Friday at her house.. maybe I'll scrape the $30 up & see if this lady has any advice.. maybe I'll just stop fucking worrying over what seemed like a great idea earlier.. I've always been a very spontaneous and instinctual person.. but lately I'm out-thinking and over-thinking and over-disecting everything.... This is part of where the suggestion came from. I've been very un-happy with myself lately - usually I'm a very happy, optimistic, upbeat person and recently I've become this irritated, pessimistic, sarcastic creature I don't really recognise & can't stand. And Yuki & Kyou thought it might really help me, and my chibi, if we moved away to a fresh atmosphere and me a new and better (happier) job. It just all sounded so simple & such the perfect solution this afternoon... happy little "nakama" commune artist home family fantastic thingy & it will be wonderfull... so why am I suddenly freakin' out?
That's right.. because I'm Tohru. I think I'll go make rice balls.
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