29 January, 2006

I refuse to be Spongebob!!! >_<

Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character you most resemble? Group of investigators got together, analyzed the personalities of well known & modern cartoon characters. Information gathered was made into this test: Answer all the questions with what describes you best, add up all your points (which are
next to answer that you choose) at the end & look for your results.

1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)
b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)
c) Painting in the park (5 pts.)
d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)

2. What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock & Roll (2 pts.)
b) Alternative (1 pt.)
c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
d) Country (5 pts.)
e) Pop (3 pts.)

3. What type of movies do you prefer?
a) Comedy (2 pts.)
b) Horror (1 pt.)
c) Musical (3 pts.)
d) Romance (4 pts.)
e) Documentary (5 pts.)

4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?
a) Waiter (4 pts.)
b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
c) Teacher (3 pts.)
d) Police (2 pts.)
e) Cashier (1 pt)

5. What do you do with your spare time?
a) Exercise (5 pts.)
b) Read (4 pts.)
c) Watch television (2 pts.)
d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
e) Sleep (3 pts.)

6. Which one of the following colors do you like best?
a) Yellow (1 pt.)
b) White (5 pts.)
c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)
d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)
e) Red (4 pts.)

7. What do you prefer to eat right now?
a) Snow (3 pts.)
b) Pizza (2 pts.)
c) Sushi (1 pt.)
d) Pasta (4 pts.)
e) Salad (5 pts.)

8. What is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween (1 pt.)
b) Christmas (3 pts.)
c) New Year (2 pts.)
d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)
e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)

9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
a) Paris (4 pts.)
b) Spain (5 pts.)
c) Las Vegas (1 pt.)
d) Hawaii (4 pts.)
e) Hollywood (3 pts.)

10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time?
a) Someone smart (5 pts.)
b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)
d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)
e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points & find the answer you have been waiting for!

~ ~ ~ Score Points ~ ~ ~
(10~16 points) You are Garfield: You are very com fortable, easy going & definitely know how to have fun but sometimes take it to an extreme. You always know what you're doing & are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean you always have to do what's right. Try to remember your happy spirit may hurt you or others.

(17~23 points) You are Snoopy: You are fun, you are very cool & popular. You always know what's in & you are never out of style. You are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married & having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.

(24~28 points) You are Elmo: You have lots of friends, are also popular, always willing to give advice & help out a perso! n in need. You are very optimistic & always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: Try not to be too much of a dreamer, if not you'll have many conflicts in life.

(29~35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants: You are a classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have & never want to lose. You never cause harm to anyone & they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny & calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors & jealous people, then you will be stress free.

(36~43 points) You are Charlie Brown: You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your mom every Sunday. You have many friends & may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.

(44 ~50 points) You are Dexter: You are smart & definitely a thinker. Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. Maintain a stable routine but never ignore a a bad situation when it comes.

28 January, 2006

Checking for a pulse

So I spent last night with a couple friends I haven't seen in months. We were doing the review of the time apart & when I mentioned that I'd gone to church (which, if you know me, is rather unusual) Frankie asked if I was "looking for God." I just went because I was visiting my mother that day and hadn't realised they were leaving for church soon and when she said so something told me to go. I have been trying very hard not to question things like that because it seem like something in me has closed up. I used to be a very open and welcoming person. I used to be a "people person" but recently I seem more anti-social. I can't explain it, I don't understand it myself... I have no want or motivation to do anything... I guess what I'm looking for is signs of life, in myself. Am I still in here? Where has the person gone with infinite energy and ideas and not enough time, or arms, to do all the things I wanna be working on? So I am just trying to be open to whatever the universe presents to me. I am trying to accept inspiration from wherever it appears.

These same friends want me and my bf to move in with them this spring. Brian and I have already agreed we like the idea and are both very eager to move like, RIGHT NOW!! But I have this fear that it won't happen, that they will change their minds at the last moment. They are my only two friends left and I adore them. Whenever we're together, they make me to feel like I could do anything. I feel inspired, magnified, more confident.... and it's not anything they do, it's just that they have the same spirit that I do to live life, to reach for more, to inspire and create and never stop... and I want that to be my everyday life, not just my yeah-I-think-I-have-the-gas-this-month. I don't get to spend nearly enough time with them because they life about a half hour away and money is so tight lately that I don't have the gas. I think having them around all the time, every day going "hey, loser- haven't you gotten off your ass yet" would be a huge help. I know this sounds a little selfish.. but these are very strong feelings that I have. And I think I might give a little of this to them as well. I love their stories (writers) and I encourage them when no one else responds to their work. Plus we've had some fantastic ideas together and they'd be much easier to breathe to life if all were in the same place geographically as well as mentally.

26 January, 2006

Can I still suffer The OC??

It just figures that I would fall in love with a show right before everything on it goes to total shit, right? Just my fucking luck. I was totally loving The OC, despite my best efforts to find it heinous and vapid... I so wanted it to be vapid. But, alas, in one fell swoop someone vapid shows up from prep school (where they breed the vapid) and destroys everything.... And just for the record may I reiterate JOHNNY IS NOT WORTH ALL THIS... the guy is pathetic, weak, has really bad hair... he's just like this leaching little creature trying to cling to anyone... ACK!! Can we be rid of him, please... And if princess Kaitlyn would just talk to Marissa, maybe something might get better, instead of just being determined to destroy her. And why is it that with every ep Marissa seems to be getting more irritating... what's that about? I liked her when I started watching at the beginning of the season, but I dislike her and become more annoyed with her very presence with every episode... Perhaps it's the white trash in me revolting against the fact that she has everything- a mother who, while sometimes a bit on the evil side, loves her kids and tries very hard to make things work without having to hurt anyone.... She's got amazing friends who she really doesn't seem to appreciate... and She's got RYAN!! Yes, he can be a little frustrating with his inability to communicate, but he throws himself at everything he comes up against and supports her beyond everything... he's even saved her would-be boyfriend from himself, repeatedly!!!

*THWACK*

Wake up Marissa, you twit!!!

************


Beyond all that ranting.. I have finally received an e from my MIA best friend.. who I'd kind of given up on.. chalk that up to my being disposable by most accounts... But I have word at last, so I guess I still have her. Really, it's rather depressing to know that someone's friendship can mean [almost] more than that of the one you live with & pledge to spend your life with.. but it's complicated. I know positively in the back of my mind that he will leave, or force me to, because it always happens... for all my dreaming, I will get no happy ending. That, sadly, is not my story. Lousy to know for a fact that your life is destined to change, fall apart and rebuild... Thus the moniker "In Permanent Transition"... I think that I lost the one chance I had for a happy ever after. That was my mistake for not seeing it at the time.. Even more frustrating is my gift. I can see thru "doorways" between realities.

See, when you make a life-altering decision and move forward, that other life still exists, like separate paths in a labyrinth. You choose to step thru one door, but the other door remains and continues... Sometimes we are extremely lucky and, if you choose right, the life you're living may reconnect or intersect that other life you left behind and you get a second chance to make that decision. Not to say the other life is always better... but sometimes destiny tries more than once to steer us in a particular direction.

My gift is that I can see that parallel life. Usually, it's only upon looking back at something that I can see thru the "veil" of time that other life and where it leads, but very rarely I can see it spread before and choose one or the other. I am working to cultivate that ability... but I'm also not holding my breath. At this point, the best I have learned is never NEVER to question my instincts on things. If I have the feeling to do something, I must do that thing. If I flinch, it's already too late. My instincts may not always make sense, even to me, but if I know what to do then I do it without asking why? or if it's right, because if I stop to ask, or I'm too afraid my questions won't be answered, I will be punished by destiny, by fate. I will be taught a very hard lesson that shows quite plainly why I should have done what I was told.

My "gift" is frustrating because I think of Brian, or the ones before him, and I can see where our lives together will lead (or would have lead) and I can watch it similar to a movie, all smiles and love and glitter. But I know that in reality I will never have that life. See, when I look at a person, I don't see their body, their shell. Yes, I see them in the physical realm as another human being.. in that way, I see them. But when I communicate with someone, I communicate with them soul to soul. When I look at Brian (or when I looked at the ones before him) I see his spirit, his true self, and that is what I am in love with.. the painful part is that the world has already damaged that self and it's very unlikely, despite all my efforts, that I will get to enjoy a life of happiness with him and his true self.

And so I try to make things as good as possible while I have him, knowing that eventually the world will take him from me. I don't know why. I wish I did. I wish I understood why I am forced to endure a life of loneliness, never feeling secure. Never having the safety of even thinking "this time it will work".. why can't I at least have a lovely illusion to enjoy? Why do I have to struggle on knowing it won't work, it will never work? If I have to know it will go wrong, why not show me the way to the one that will work? or show me how to fix this one? What good is a gift if it doesn't help?

I'm so tired of being alone... Even when I'm with someone I am still alone.

02 January, 2006

Score 1 for me!

I actually managed to get the living room done on Friday... and all I had to do was forbid Brian to answer the phone or talk to any of his friends & tell him he couldn't go anywhere till it was done! O.o Living with him really can be like raising a teenager sometimes... LOL

Happy Birthday Ed!!!!

Today we celebrate the birthday of Edward “Ed” Wong Hau Pepely Tivursky 4th from the bounty hunter crew of Cowboy Bebop!


image from Edlicious! The Fanlisting for Edward of Cowboy Bebop Posted by Picasa

Edward's birthday


drawn by "bebop05" at The Otaku (but I cannot find the bloody link >,<) Posted by Picasa

Birthday Ed-ness!!

Image from Ghost Anime Kitties Posted by Picasa

A very Ed-licious birthday!


image source: we-love-anime Posted by Picasa