Checking for a pulse

So I spent last night with a couple friends I haven't seen in months. We were doing the review of the time apart & when I mentioned that I'd gone to church (which, if you know me, is rather unusual) Frankie asked if I was "looking for God." I just went because I was visiting my mother that day and hadn't realised they were leaving for church soon and when she said so something told me to go. I have been trying very hard not to question things like that because it seem like something in me has closed up. I used to be a very open and welcoming person. I used to be a "people person" but recently I seem more anti-social. I can't explain it, I don't understand it myself... I have no want or motivation to do anything... I guess what I'm looking for is signs of life, in myself. Am I still in here? Where has the person gone with infinite energy and ideas and not enough time, or arms, to do all the things I wanna be working on? So I am just trying to be open to whatever the universe presents to me. I am trying to accept inspiration from wherever it appears.

These same friends want me and my bf to move in with them this spring. Brian and I have already agreed we like the idea and are both very eager to move like, RIGHT NOW!! But I have this fear that it won't happen, that they will change their minds at the last moment. They are my only two friends left and I adore them. Whenever we're together, they make me to feel like I could do anything. I feel inspired, magnified, more confident.... and it's not anything they do, it's just that they have the same spirit that I do to live life, to reach for more, to inspire and create and never stop... and I want that to be my everyday life, not just my yeah-I-think-I-have-the-gas-this-month. I don't get to spend nearly enough time with them because they life about a half hour away and money is so tight lately that I don't have the gas. I think having them around all the time, every day going "hey, loser- haven't you gotten off your ass yet" would be a huge help. I know this sounds a little selfish.. but these are very strong feelings that I have. And I think I might give a little of this to them as well. I love their stories (writers) and I encourage them when no one else responds to their work. Plus we've had some fantastic ideas together and they'd be much easier to breathe to life if all were in the same place geographically as well as mentally.