22 January, 2003

Top 70 Ways To Tell That You Are A Freak Of Nature
By sta

Rank:
1) Last name: Jackson. First name: Michael.
2) you know the speed of an unladen swallow but don't watch monty python.
3) Bald guy in wheelchair keeps trying to recruit you
4) that third breast...but hey, you're popular!
5) Toes are longer than fingers. 23 times longer.
6) you point at things and they explode
7) You. A platypus. Compare and contrast.
8) multiple penii
9) You constantly post "my large intestine" or "Joss sings"
10) You're the dell kid
11) You avidly follow the tv show 'Survivor'
12) Hello, Clarice...
13) You can say "Oh my God there's an axe in my head" in every language
14) that fully functional faucet in your forehead might be a hint
15) You submit more than 17 items to this list.
16) you say "cool beans" or "nifty" at least twice a day.
17) You think Harry Potter is one of the great works of literature.
18) your bed has a name.
19) Blind kids cry when they see you.
20) when in a public bathroom, you try to turn on all 21 motion sensitive dryers.
21) you keep a jar of your own urine
22) your neighborhood has pink sidewalks.
23) You have blue fur all over your body.
24) you like cold spaghetti with salt on it.
25) Twelve Inches ... Around
26) You have a large birthmark on your forehead that clearly reads "666"
27) People on the street point at you and shout Freak! FREAK!
28) you're actually reading this entire list.
29) Extremely Large, Large Intestine Intestine
30) You have dainty little girly hands and your name is Steve
31) Your can type but are otherwise illiterate
32) you know the meaning of the all powerful number 42.
33) Your last name is Frankenstein
34) you can calculate the number of mols in a pair of cotton shorts.
35) You're in college, and you're obsessed with Mario games
36) a sign that says "freak of nature" is pointing at you
37) You have a spare large intestine.
38) you know what Uberschwemmung means.
39) you listen to enrique iglesias.
40) Antennae so big your TV reception is always crystal-clear
41) Children run screaming and crying whenever you enter the room
42) you own anything with a moose or a penguin on it.
43) you are constantly fighting the evil that is communist bob.
44) you've heard of the moosehead room.
45) A second head growing out of your ribcage
46) You have 11 toenails.
47) you have an email address with more than 15 characters in it.
48) you were amused by the mtv show Daria.
49) you have 2 pairs of glasses, making you a "six eyes"
50) your anal probe is constantly beeping
51) you own a piece of clothing that used to be a postage sack
52) you are a lovesick green dolphin covered in postage stamps.
53) Your name is Laura
54) You have grown an evil second head.
55) the only way type of poem you can write sounds just like the cat in the hat.
56) you decorate things with post-it notes
57) you like that song "Hey Ma"
58) you have been stuck in a folding chair or other such object.
59) You can quote Monty Python, Mel Brooks, Star Trek, Star Wars, & LOTR.
60) The foam coming from your mouth scares small children and dogs
61) you've gotten sunburned only on the top of your head.
62) you own weird socks of any kind.
63) you remember pj sparkles.
64) Your job is to be a stationary missle target
65) you have at least one cool nickname.
66) you have visited anipike more than twice.
67) you like Lord of the Rings
68) You can speak and write in Klingon
69) You can translate Klingon to Elvish
70) You believe you ARE one of the characters from Star Wars, Harry Potter, LOTR or Star Trek

The Keepers Welcome You!

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