BOUND

I will not drown
I will not die
Tho you break my heart
Still I survive

Just this one time
This one moment
This one embrace

I am stronger than the pain

I’ve played this game before
I’ve told myself these lies
I’ve fought this fight
So many times
I’ve silences these thoughts
Again and again
I’ve been here before
Don’t wanna do this anymore

Tired of taking chances
Tired of these dances
And midnight romances

I caress your face
Run my fingers thru your hair
But I’m lost in my own madness
You were never really there

I can’t reach you
Can’t touch you
These affections are empty

This man I love
Does not exist
You are not mine to have
Not mine to love

Bound to another
You slip away
You fall away
Leave me standing
Lost in my pain
Tears across my face
My vision getting hazy

Here is my heart
Crushed in your hand
Dust in your palm

Tabitha )O(



MY HEART MY DREAMS

My nerves are raw
My pain is real
I try to open my heart
But it refuses to feel
It’s broken
And beaten
Shattered
In pieces
Torn at the seams
Left just like my dreams
Abandoned
Belittled
And stepped on

Tabitha )O(


How do I stop this?
How do I end it?
I’ve left my soul open
Now how do I mend it?
Self-abuse seems to be my style
I choose men…
Women….
Lovers…
Who hurt me
Who don’t want me
Who discard me
Abuse me
And move on

I make love
Where none exists
I blur the lines
And blind my vision
Till it’s much too late

I love too easy
I give too much
I pray for a lover
I burn for your touch
Longing to be wanted
Begging for salvation
From this vast loneliness
Emptiness
I am consumes

I see you in my sleep
Feel you beside me in the dark
My mind wastes away
Lost in my fantasies
Plagued by reality
Conflict
And rage
My emotions are churning
My fires are burning

Tabitha )O(
3/11/2003