Blue... like my tears..

I am so miserable.. and over such a little thing...

Brian went to work a few minutes ago.. to deliver papers with a friend coz goddess knows we need the $$$... He'll be gone till round 4:30 or 5 in the morning, meaning I'll have already gone to sleep by the time he comes home.. if I don't just wait up for him knowing I can't sleep without him anyway....'

Why does it make me so miserable when he's gone... I'm a little sad at work bcoz I miss him, but nothing like when he leaves to go somewhere for a while.... it nearly undid me when he went for 2 days to Ohio to bring his mother back.... Another friend, Jay, came by 2nite wanting Brian to go work with him on a job remodeling houses.. but that would keep him away for like a week... yeah, ok... just kill me now... It seems Brian don't want to take that job for the same reason - he wouldn't want to be away from me for that long either... So, hopefully, this job with Gabe will work out well enuf for us to catch up on things...

It's been getting pretty bad lately. Yesterday they shut the water off & I hadda borrow $$ from Mom to get it turned back on & was late for work bcoz of it... THings are just piling up & up & I'm afraid we'll never get them caught up & never get the hell outta this apt....

Trying very hard not to be depressed... but it's impossible with my chibi gone....